+ 1 to Life

Dedicated to all the wonderful souls who from their heart encourage adoption.

Moment of ecstasy as you hold a life in your hand,
A face unfamiliar, yet a soul you connect to,
Her cry calls you a stranger, but it’s her smile you can relate to
Warmth fills your cold heart as you at last feel smiling tears
Oh! It’s the only experience that peacefully shuns all your fears.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

On this Bench...

Dedicated to the victims of child abuse

On this bench sits a little girl;
With hope in her eyes and questions about the world.
She looks left, she looks right;
She then frowns to find no one around her.

She violently pins some papers on the cardboard;
Bits and pieces of it which fly aimlessly on the road.
She rests the notepad on her lap;
This little heart pumps faster when the events recap.

Legs thump hard on the ground as she runs;
With voice muted and a dried throat she takes aimless turns.
The ghostly man follows her way throughout;
and with his uncomfortable touch, she painfully shouts.

Whom shall she go to? To whom shall she say?
when she sees her loved ones adoring him everyday.
She holds the pen hard and cries desperately to write;
Wordless she goes when she fails to express her plight.

Tears finally dried and face became expressionless;
Unsurprisingly, she is gripped by insecurity and loneliness.
Can she now survive in this world? Can she now take it all alone?

Past was repeated at every walk of life;
It did not surprise me when she first held the knife.
She looked left, she looked right;
She then frowned to have no one to care for her.

When devils wore the mask of friendship,
she killed her every little hope from relationships.
Whom does she have? For whom shall she live?
What can she say when her loved ones stopped to believe.

On this bench now sits a young girl;
With hope in her eyes and questions about the world.
She looks left, she looks right;
She then "smiles" to find no one around her.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Rishabh's Story

That night Rishabh cried with words of his life. His voice could not find the direction of his words because they were creating an impact in every letter. Samira surrendered herself to that moment when he began narrating what had happen to him.

“I love my sister, I love my mother and then I do not know what loving everyone is about. This huge telephone bill will tell you that I am not comfortable with people I meet. I share when they cannot see me because it keeps me away from embarrassment.

Father is busy whenever is not home and he is never home. He showered his love once when I was with him and we were together never before. He met his business partner’s wife and they both exchanged smiles. I saw him smiling for the first time. He turned his head and then I could not see that smile anymore. I was left alone with that lady who was as old as my mother.

I was ten when she tried doing something uncomfortable and all I knew that it was uncomfortable. I was not just physically weak but even mentally to understand the thing that was happening to me. I did not know the meaning of right and wrong and I did not know if this uncomfortable thing is termed as ‘wrong’. It was her touch that made me unreasonably cry- Unreasonably because what made me cry before was never this. It was not my mother’s shout; it was not my teacher's punishment for not doing homework.

It was someone touching me and that uncomfortable feeling was making me cry.

Next day I saw my father standing where I was. That day I saw him smiling for the second time in my life.

I love my sister, I love my mother and then I do not know what loving everyone is about.”

Note: Today Rishabh(name changed) is one of the successful entrepreneur's of India. His only wish was to protect his sister and give some peace to his mother. He has fulfilled his responsibilities.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Simplicity of Life

I look at life with an enthused spirit waiting to pour its energy on worthy things. Life is an endless journey which has its own way of accompanying my wandering soul. I meet some people who hold my hand & they decide to walk with me. These people & their stay in my life I cannot foresee. Life for me is living in the present, cherishing what I receive ‘now’ from people & things.

There are things that I do not need & there are people, who do not need me. There are words which we remember the whole of our life & there are words which we know are not worth registering.

I sleep peaceful nights because within my body lies a soul which is pure in its thoughts. I wear a face of true smiles because within me lies blessing for human beings.

Some relationships talk too much to understand if the base is strong or weak.
Some relationships go quiet because they have their own reason which is seldom communicated.

Best form of love is expression of the feeling you have towards someone. Love is love when it shows on the face & speaks in silence. Love is love when all attempts are made to convey the good intentions & it fails with no outrage for the person involved.

Life does not stop love whether there’s a busy life ahead, whether there’s someone’s absence, whether there are too many things at that time to think about.

And love does not stop life because life goes on whether there’s love, hatred or simply plain ignorance.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

If you find some people selfish, some fake, some jealous, some weird, some cheap, some rude, some noisy, some lazy, some talkative, some messy, some political. Just chuck it! That's their comfort in living life; that’s the choice they have made. Life's simpler when we accept these facts than investing our time in finding answer to the Why’s. Life’s best lived when we least concentrate on the wrongs of people who least matter to us.

You will feel most light hearted at the end of the day when you know you have not been impolite to anyone in the whole day. From the cabbie and security guards to your juniors, colleagues, and needless to say your superior; from strangers to your friends and family.

You will feel most strong at the end of the day when during the most discouraged and humiliated day, you find power within you to constantly motivate yourself that very moment of humiliation. When you realize complaining is only poisoning your strong mind on which you worked on for years to make it this tough.

My conversation with Time

You ticked faster every time I spent time with him
You looked so old that day; you trembled so much when I couldn’t be with him
I foolishly wondered if life was nothing beyond this rendezvous
And in this life time I would not crave for anything in lieu

You ticked faster when I met him after a long tiring day
You looked so disinterested to tick when in night I awaited the forthcoming day
I crazily wondered if evening could follow the night
Because there wouldn’t be anything as important as capturing his sight

Monday I counted the day sixth
Thursday I said it’s three
Saturday I cried helplessly before God
And with these tears God had his spree

You ticked faster when I finally waved good bye to him
You looked so dead, so motionless when I awaited him
Awed by my eyes you played with my restlessness
And with your every tick you drove me towards craziness
I insanely wondered if you could pause the present moment
As I foolishly prayed to unwind those lovely moments

With every such plead, God you laughed back at me
With every droplet of my tear, you just vainly ignored me
Desperate I became to talk to you
And with my word, you turned deaf ears towards me
I have never learnt to lose faith
And I know that at some point in our lives, we all re-write our fate

With every such belief, God you did everything to challenge it
And with my repetitive triumph, I redefined what you called "defeat"

I Have Count Of All Your Tears

Dedicated to my best friend

Walking relentlessly with hope of victory,
With silence you covert your screams
In dark you often cry
But I have count of all your tears
Tirelessly you run for having a life of your own
But I have the count of your racing heart beats

One small hope knocks the door of your happiness,
You work harder to get closer to your dream
And every time it’s shattered,
With silence you covert your screams

You hold my hand and ask for my assurance
And I give you a tight hug to take away all your fears
Under your blanket you often cry
But I have count of all your tears

Your tears shine in this darkness
and you can't anymore hide it with your spectacles
I can hear the painful screams in your silence
and you should give up on your attempts to deceive me

Persistently you combine words to make it sound convincing
Monday you tried it on your interviewer
Saturday you did it on your folks
And every time the cycle repeats,
I have felt the count of your racing heart beats

Void

Uneducated to the meaning of betrayal, I ponder since dawn to experience one moment of truth. And as dusk follows, I realize that in this journey of deception, only the shadow of incompleteness remains loyal.

Resilience

Throat chokes when tears cease to flow,
You stand sturdy to defeat this concealed sorrow
You choose not to hear words of attachment
When they are only meant to multiply your predicament
Escapism seems a better remedy than confrontation
If in the crowd you are most comforted from self isolation

My mirror does not remember this face
It tells me you have gone too ahead in this race
My voice doesn’t sound familiar to me,
When every time I say something I don’t want to mean

Past relationships did change me;
The thought of future does not torture me
But today makes me someone I don’t want to be

People say you need to see more of life
Ironically, the only people you love fail to survive

You flashback your innocence
And you now doubt even its slightest presence

Throat chokes when tears cease to flow,
You stand sturdy to defeat this concealed sorrow
One day you will dance to the music of life & play the violin of joy,
And no fate can control over you; no one can make you cry


Written by Vrushali

Symphony of Life

Silent hopes and shunned dreams
Living blissfully with life’s whims
Defeating worries of tomorrow & tears of yesterday
Rejuvenating life only to live today
Deaf to cry of pain, dumb to words of agony
I salsa to life’s composed symphony

None notice the three layered mask
As they applaud naively to this farce
You alone yourself by worshipping fanaticism
When you wrongly express your heartfelt idealism

Every day’s covert search for a face of familiarity
And as dusk follows you sheepishly grin at your insanity
You abhor yourself more with every such hope
When you encourage desires that leave you in mope

Silent hopes and shunned dreams
Living blissfully with life’s whims
Deaf to cry of pain, dumb to words of agony
I gleefully salsa to life’s composed symphony

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Professionalism

A professional is the one who does his best when he feels the worse and thus with this I leave no scope for personal issues preoccupying the mind. What we vow to ourselves strongly, our subconscious puts it to action and this slowly becomes a part of our personality.

“You come to your workplace to create a pathway to your ambitions and not to make friends” – this mantra which I repeated for three long years today has made me the way I am. I am not sure if it is justifiable to be called as a robot in human form, but definitely if called as a human in robot form.

I realized that it is not bizarre when one has to smile, and talk in the most polite manner with every second person in order to develop relationships for professional reasons, but this gesture is never with an intention to make anyone your friend. It is not strange when you make them feel like a friend but do not decide to make them aware about you the way you would do to a friend.

Such relationships are always in the form of give and take and we continue to wear this mask in front of them by publicly declaring that I am wearing one and you better be aware of it- and this certainly is communicated in the most polite manner.

This you do not find fake anymore, this you find as a way to be and there is nothing that stinks about it. You cannot maneuver an individual who has learnt the rules of professionalism and you choose not to maneuver someone who is not yet aware of it. True professionalism would never question your self engraved values and dignity, It would only go about enhancing it.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Tathastu, It will be...

Sometimes the thing you always craved for in life, the kind of a companion you always desired, the way of reciprocation you always expected, one day it all happens in your life. That person introduces you to happiness by healing that part of pain you thought you will never able to get rid of. You give all possible love you ever had in your heart and the reciprocation is beyond expectations. Couple of year’s passes and the relationship grows stronger and the friendship remains unharmed.

You once gave your love, humility to some chosen few in past and they reciprocated in their own ways; the reasons which were justifiable and some reasons in silence were much more convincing. You say alas! A person you were always waiting for! And this is not a lover, a life partner, or a casual boyfriend, but a true friend; this person has no specific age or gender that makes anything compatible for you.

A time comes when this person understands you the way you want him to understand you and yet calms you, gives you the warmth in his own way. A day comes when you look forward to spending time with that person because that is the only place you feel you can be yourself, where you can express your limitless love without having to think.

You know it so well that nothing can now break this relationship; certainly not because of either of the people involved and this is exactly what then troubles you. Circumstances are created by life that you worry the physical presence of that person in your life. You know that the emotions would never change, but the long distance communication would only take away your only source of happiness away from you. You no longer can look forward to spending time in person, you no longer can see that person and get a smile on your face; and you fight with destiny to prolong and then retain that persons stay in your life.

You are so hell bent on not losing the person that every single day you try convincing God with your own reasons and justifications; hoping that someday he wishes to believe you for once.

Written by Vrushali

It is worth a Wait..

You can’t help but wonder if what you are receiving today is the result of the deeds you once probably did in your past (not sure about past life though!). I do not know if it is luck, destiny or simply this is how it was meant to be, but some things come in your life after a long wait. God tests our patience at every step of life; he puts before us turbulent situations that we one fine day get tired and look for him to ask the most commonly asked question, “why?”

In this time of slow down where every individual is either praying that he is not the one being laid off or that he gets a stable job and the prayer is very dedicated and emotional when the person looking for a job is a fresher living away from his home. Situations seem to worsen when you are in a field where people just do not want to add an expense to their company’s accounts by hiring you.

Wrong companies, wrong interview calls, invalid telephone numbers, fake compensation figures, fake appointment letters and a characterless decision maker of the organization who in many times is the owner of a small firm. The list of fraudulence, deception and hypocrisy goes on.

Stressed out mind becomes too stressed to handle the fluctuations of hope and rejection.
Faith in God starts to quiver yet he is still the one you rely on. Frustrated mind becomes too frustrated to not know if it is capable of losing faith in God.

The wait might be too long to be called the longest and the prayers might be too frequent to wonder if they are even heard. The pain may be too prolonging to wonder if there is an end to tears and the silent shout of ours which we sometimes wonder if is being heard by people around.

In these moments, what is expected out of you is to be tough from within so that someone out there is assured that you are capable of handling forthcoming success. If not for someone out there who we call as God, but become tough to prove the ambitious you that you are in a position to handle every difficulty of life and that you are not the one who will ever give up.

Eventually, you understand these tests were important for us to handle the forthcoming experience which can assure definite success. You understand that had there not been a bad experience you would not have been ever able to become mentally strong. You understand that it was worth a wait and the only thing you will then find yourself doing is “Thank You God”

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Beautiful Yesterday

Yesterday was beautiful, but life with all its wonders gets a new day for us. Yesterday I met some people whose reciprocation towards my initiation made me what I am today. These people with their words made me have belief in me and with their silence made me see things from a different perspective. No matter how far the yesterday is now from today there are some who continue to stay in your memories regardless of their absence.

Initially life revolved around I, Me, Myself where you could only see your pain and the sufferings of those who meant to you. A time comes when perspectives broaden and we move out of the micro approach towards living life. Suddenly it is no more our problem, our life, our pain but people who we can relate to for mankind sake.

All this while you thought of making a difference to your life or people who made difference to your life, but then you understand that it is meaningful to live life only when you make difference to others life.

Written by Vrushali

Life's Clarity

You reach a stage in life where every little thing about life gets clear in front of you; where there is no effort from your side to make your life complicated. A phase of life where being focused starts to mean everything; where you know what you want in life and what you do not; where you carry on living life with no huge amount of expectation from people who mean to you.

Life tells you with all its clarity that every experience has made the present journey possible and there is nothing to repent about. It tells you that what you are today is because of the decisions you took in life. What you are today is the result of the way you chose to react in past and there is this whole awareness that how one reaction can change everything around us.

There comes a time in life where your perspectives towards things change. The word humility starts to attack your conscience and you watch out on the way you treat people around you. You wonder if you can make a little difference to someone who is asking for help; if you can give some hope to someone who is losing faith due to prolonging failure.

Your resilience surprises you; your belief in yourself strengthens with every failure and the only remedy you offer to your closed ones in times of turbulence is to keep faith. We start to have faith in ourselves only when we fall in love with ourselves so much that no decision of ours can hurt us, no reaction of ours can affect things around us in a negative manner. You learn to simplify your life against all odds and you know that the only hurdle that can come in your life will not be because of you.

There comes a point where things around us get so complacent that we move on to desire things in life which go beyond relationships and career. You desire to live with nature and explore the wonderful things on planet Earth which went until now unexplored. Suddenly you feel the amount of time wasted on things that deserved little importance but then you decide to not further brood over it because it too deserves a laugh.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Self-change

Old was this belief when I was well assured that no word of humiliation and disgrace can ever wobble a heart full of love. These words banged the ear drums, bounced on the heart in an attempt to break it into two, but only in vain. Patience and tolerance grew to the extent where one wondered if the heart has become numb or if it is too strong beating in love. Someday these agonizing words question your self respect but the so called spirit of love makes you believe it could just be your ego and it definitely is an enemy of love.

Years pass and you slowly start reacting to these words in its worse possible way. Silence now appears to be a weapon of a coward and the person fool enough to repeat the so called mantra of love at the cost of self respect. But without making you aware of its slightest arrival your heart is filled with this poison. Words you never imagined you would ever use, language you thought you never knew, now started to show its presence. This filthy act of revenge in form of words slowly started to degrade you in your own eyes and even guilt started to cover itself in shame. The self you do not even feel like hating because hatred becomes too small a word.

Today you master in this act of humiliation and hurt those people who love you the most. You cry in deep pain repenting losing your innocent self and becoming the person you were a complete opposite of. Today you sit back and wonder if you will ever get that self back and any form of hopelessness makes you fear the coming tomorrow.

Written by Vrushali

Friends and Parents

Two most beautiful relationships in life are “friendship” and the “eternal bond with parents”. There are numerous examples where people leave their friends for a newly developed relationship.

It requires a strong disposition and immense mental clarity to value the two most cardinal relationships in life “Friendship” and “an innate eternal bond with our parents”. It is indeed unfortunate when individuals disregard their old friends for a newly developed fling of an affair or infatuation. It all the more exhibits indications of mental weakness when a child does not wish to value the limitless love of their parents just to satisfy his so called involvement in a person; which in most cases is temporary in nature.

Often these weak individuals need a stranger to make them realize the importance of these two most beautiful relationships, when in reality the realization should have come from within a long time ago. The ones who do not value their true friends and parents are the ones who are not worth relying on ever in any relationship.

Fortunate things happen in different forms. A stranger indirectly awakens the value of these relationships in that blinded individual and sometimes someone is lucky enough to have never bonded with such blinded individuals.

Written by Vrushali

Lost friend

Dedicated in the memory of my dear friend, Anuj

Notoriously winking at me you asked for a hug,
You smiled with your dimples visible saying it’s your luck

We fought enough to hate each other,
We then spoke and shared enough to be friends forever.

You could sense it when I was unwell,
and you tried all your inspiring talks to take me out of that hell.

The beep of those smses woke me up late at night.
Now who will disturb me? With whom will I fight?

I never told anyone how close you were to me,
I asked my God to get my friend back; I was down on my knees.

I looked at you yesterday and I felt you smiled.
I knew you would get up and say you were joking all this while.

I touched your feet and knew this is the last time I’m feeling you.
I captured your face and said I will never forget you.

I turned and kept asking “Won’t you ever come back?”
Won’t you ever surprise all of us saying “It’s just a prank?

Wrtitten by Vrushali Deshpande

Virtual chat????

Virtual chat! Hours of conversation with people we do not know at all and with people who do not know us at all; I call the former strangers and the latter, acquaintances who love to be called as friends.
(Hey! You probably did not realize how vocal you can get about your emotions when you sit and chat to your friend on the seat beside you, but such a thought of unveiling your emotions do not come to you otherwise.)
Okay! Getting to the point, some conversations are easy to have with people who do not have any preconditioned opinion about us. Some conversations are so difficult with people who we think know us enough to form a judgment on the situation we are in. Great! We are only looking for a place where we would not get a reality check about ourselves.
Sometimes hours of “what’s up” and “what else” seem more productive to us than talking to someone who reside with us in our home. Sometimes hours of useless counseling virtually seem more of a noble cause than sitting with your mother who probably needs someone to talk to. Tragic, isn’t it?
Human actions can be so inhumane and this comes with complete realization of what we are doing!
These people will come and go! Strangers you meet and know in person will one day be gone with change of job, career, and wedlock, and probably the frequency of conversation would diminish. (No, I am not saying the friendship would fade, it probably would be the best of its kind). But what matters is acknowledging someone’s presence who works day and night for your well being; who for god’s sake made that internet facility available for you by paying thousands of rupees for an unlimited access. Sigh!
Written by: Vrushali Deshpande

Time passes by !

Time is money? I do not by any chance intend to get materialistic once again. But talking about time, it does really passes by, and you know what? It passes by making you fully aware second by second of its departure. Time tells us our story which is going to be in the near future and we are well assured of the numerous things we are going to repent on. Sigh! And still no resolutions to take corrective actions in order to not repent.

Countless nights sobbing on worthless and useless boyfriends you ever had in your life; it is like pushing yourself for a suicide over and over again. Precious hours one could have rather spent with their folks who truly have taken care of us, who genuinely love us, and you know what? In our absence who really miss us so much!

Nightmares (and especially these early morning ones) sometimes throw a light on our low wisdom when we see the death of one of our family member and that agonizing pain which chokes the throat in a half asleep state aggravates it all. We resolute in our early morning prayers that we shall not take our folks for granted. The light of wisdom vanishes as soon as our folks shoot their questions, and what is concern for them becomes interrogation for us.

Be it relationships or career, rarely a resolution lasts long and that whole idea of seeing the intention diminishing annoys the mind to the core.

To look at it, there is going to be one fine day when these people we today take granted for would be gone and we shall never be able to see them, hear them, and touch them. That feeling of repentance shall put us into lifelong trauma eventually, and we would wonder that what if we spent that time, that time which we completely wasted on some silly thing, we could have rather spent with them.

Written by: Vrushali Deshpande