Self-change

Old was this belief when I was well assured that no word of humiliation and disgrace can ever wobble a heart full of love. These words banged the ear drums, bounced on the heart in an attempt to break it into two, but only in vain. Patience and tolerance grew to the extent where one wondered if the heart has become numb or if it is too strong beating in love. Someday these agonizing words question your self respect but the so called spirit of love makes you believe it could just be your ego and it definitely is an enemy of love.

Years pass and you slowly start reacting to these words in its worse possible way. Silence now appears to be a weapon of a coward and the person fool enough to repeat the so called mantra of love at the cost of self respect. But without making you aware of its slightest arrival your heart is filled with this poison. Words you never imagined you would ever use, language you thought you never knew, now started to show its presence. This filthy act of revenge in form of words slowly started to degrade you in your own eyes and even guilt started to cover itself in shame. The self you do not even feel like hating because hatred becomes too small a word.

Today you master in this act of humiliation and hurt those people who love you the most. You cry in deep pain repenting losing your innocent self and becoming the person you were a complete opposite of. Today you sit back and wonder if you will ever get that self back and any form of hopelessness makes you fear the coming tomorrow.

Written by Vrushali