I can't help but feel a sense of dread. It's not because I am afraid of the unknown, but because I can see my future getting darker at the hands of someone who is currently a significant part of my present. Someone who claims to care for me and wants me in their life but unintentionally is making it impossible for me to have a worthy future.
As much as I try to stay positive and focus on building a successful future for myself, their behavior keeps interfering with my mental efforts. Every day feels like a battle, trying to make something out of myself while constantly being pushed back into a dark hole.
It's mentally exhausting, always having to deal with someone who seems unconcerned about the impact their actions have on my life. Their unconsciousness towards being the cause of my life's destruction is heart wrenching It's like trying to swim against the current, only to realize that the person you thought was your anchor is the one dragging you down.
I often find myself sinking in dark waters, struggling to keep my head above water. But what's even more challenging is knowing that I am navigating through this alone having no one around to shout for help as I drown. It's a lonely journey, one that I never expected to take.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder if anyone even has an inkling of this burden I carry every day of my 40 years of life. It's as if my efforts and hardships are invisible to those around me, and I am left to bear it all on my own. I wish someone would give me a small hint, a glimmer of hope, acknowledging my endurance.
As each day passes, I can feel time slipping through my fingers. It's like trying to hold onto sand; no matter how tightly I grip, it always finds a way to escape. And with each passing moment, I can't help but wonder if my "being" itself is nonexistent in the real world.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
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