I write after a very long time.
Do you know it is true that every human gets that feeling just before it happens. Before everything in life finally stops.
The relief after being suffocated..... is another life.
I wanted to be needed.
Being loved is a luxury.
I am not like them. I am not you.
I was true.
I know it's so difficult to love me.
How do i know?
because no one can be worse than i am with myself.
I am not even as useful as a toilet paper is.
I cannot equate myself with trash because it too was once relevant before becoming irrelevant.
I chose to never marry because my father said if it was him even he wouldn't have married me.
I don't want to give a background because that will portray him negatively.
I say to him he's right.
I always wanted to be a mother.
But am too scared to give life to a soul.
I knew someone for over a decade.
I knew myself for over four.
I never ask WHY when people leave me.
Because every single human has convinced me of my uselessness.
I have nothing against anyone.
It doesn't matter what anyone did.
Be free to abuse me,blame me for everything.
But don't walk into a broken person's life.
Don't tell them they are a good soul.
Don't tell them how kind they are for over a decade.
Don't make them believe they are lovable.
Why build hope and give them life.
Didn't I always say I am a mistake?
--- Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Posts
That I fooled you?
I mean every word that I say or I would not say it at all. I feel every emotion that I express or I would not let you know at all. To me words define the way I am to myself. What I am to you is how I treat myself. I am not disappointed that you accused me of fooling you. I am disappointed at myself that just my being for so many years was not enough! I am disappointed that since then I have been waking up almost every night in tears. I am disappointed that I love you enough to reprimand myself each day since then for a sin I have not committed. It does not matter how hard you get on me. What mattered to me was the love you gave me. It does not matter to me that you did not bid me farewell. What mattered to me was you came back to say take care. It does not matter to me that you do not want to see my face again. What mattered to me was that you saw me once for that one last time. Is everything at all really a lie to you? Is every bit of...
