I write after a very long time.
Do you know it is true that every human gets that feeling just before it happens. Before everything in life finally stops.
The relief after being suffocated..... is another life.
I wanted to be needed.
Being loved is a luxury.
I am not like them. I am not you.
I was true.
I know it's so difficult to love me.
How do i know?
because no one can be worse than i am with myself.
I am not even as useful as a toilet paper is.
I cannot equate myself with trash because it too was once relevant before becoming irrelevant.
I chose to never marry because my father said if it was him even he wouldn't have married me.
I don't want to give a background because that will portray him negatively.
I say to him he's right.
I always wanted to be a mother.
But am too scared to give life to a soul.
I knew someone for over a decade.
I knew myself for over four.
I never ask WHY when people leave me.
Because every single human has convinced me of my uselessness.
I have nothing against anyone.
It doesn't matter what anyone did.
Be free to abuse me,blame me for everything.
But don't walk into a broken person's life.
Don't tell them they are a good soul.
Don't tell them how kind they are for over a decade.
Don't make them believe they are lovable.
Why build hope and give them life.
Didn't I always say I am a mistake?
--- Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Breaking Free From the Soulmate Myth
Growing up, we have all been fed with fairy tales and stories about finding our one true soulmate who will rescue us from any pain or hardship we may face. We were taught to believe that there is someone out there who is meant just for us, and all we have to do is wait for them to appear and our lives will be complete. As innocent children, it was easy for us to believe in this fairy tale. After all, who doesn't want a happily ever after with their perfect soulmate? But what we didn't realize was that subconsciously, we were putting our happiness on hold and placing it in the hands of a delusional belief. I know this because I was one of those who fell for the soulmate myth. I was so consumed with the idea of finding my soulmate that I neglected to love myself. I believed that my happiness was dependent on finding the one perfect person who would complete me. It wasn't until I read the book ' The Mountain is You ' that I started to question this belief. ...

