Why can't I feel hatred?

Words unimaginable, curses never heard before, accusations so delusional, humiliation for the first time, hate speech and yet there's no feeling of hatred towards these people. 

What's wrong with me? I should be angry, annoyed, revengeful, bitter , resentful but instead I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I told God to forgive them..

This is the only place i can pour my heart out and I am not aware if anyone even reads because it's better if I don't know that so i can write freely. 

The only place where i can be true to my feelings.