Thursday, October 27, 2022

Mental Illness isn't a taboo

There are still people close to Riya who have been concerned over the last few weeks when she decided to lock herself in the room and not eating anything for two weeks straight. 

They knew what happened to her because she was in the hospital. Her mental health got severely impacted that she just didn't want anyone to even touch her. The feeling of touch reminded her of the incident, the feeling of touch reminded her that she wants to stay away from love and affection because people are capable of betraying any time without giving a reason.

A psychiatrist came to meet her at the hospital and during the evaluation he diagnosed her of certain things that led to her suicidal attempts and the PTSD that she will suffer after the incident. 

Riya was home and her mother caringly asked her what diagnosis is it that the psychiatrist told you about. She said, "Mum, the less you know the better because you get panic attacks when stressed and then I can't handle that."

On insisting, Riya finally told her but the moment she heard suicide or attempts of suicide as symptoms her mum turned a blind eye with a "Fed up expression" to the sexual assault from the past which was the main trigger. 

The same sexual assault that lasted for 6 years from the age of 8 and when Riya wanted to tell her mum what happened and who did it, her mum prefered to not hear it. Not to confront the perpetrator. She continued to act normally all her life with Riya's assaulter as if she knew nothing. 

Last night as well Riya couldn't sleep but this time she couldn't because of her injuries from the incident and she kept having extreme pains stemming from her uterus and vagina. Her mom came into her room and thinking her mum was so caringly asking last time, Riya told her that she couldn't sleep yet again because............

Her mum interrupted Riya by saying in a ridiculed tone, "I am sick and tired of your issues that doesn't let you sleep." 

Riya immediately said, "but you didn't let me finish the sentence that I was not able to sleep because of the physical injuries that gave me excruciating pain."

Immediately her mom said, "Oh! I didn't know you couldn't sleep because of that."  

*Yes, because you were fed up to let her finish.*

Riya shutdown. She stayed quiet. She knew she can't share anything with anyone anymore.

When she did share it recently, she was ridiculed and made fun of publicly on a social networking platform where she confided in her friend she thought she could trust. 

The reason she joined the platform was she could share but her feelings, experiences were called drama and act of manipulation. 

She's shutdown and her mum screamed at her, "If you don't want to talk then just go to hell." 

She did not respond. She's shutdown.


Nearing the End

No words left to say Feelings have all been betrayed Silence fills ALL the remaining days