When God decides to take your 'support' 'your best friend' away from you especially when he has planned for hardships in the forthcoming days. Just for fun, he wonders how would it be like to see her going through it all by herself.
I have realised that it is easy relatively to get over a pain for which psychological training and manipulation is required, than the support and friendship you require during times of physical disability.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
That one bad fall..
Walked so confidently for most time of her life
Never did she think she would lose her pride
That one bad fall did not end so easily
That one leap made this life long journey a pain
She walks in her crutches with her head down
She limps through her way with the 'cruck' sound
That day she left with those memories in her mind
With hope and determination that soon it all unwinds
That one moment when she missed the hole and took the leap
Her thoughts so much around you; those feelings were so deep
That one bad fall that will never let her sleep.
Never did she think she would lose her pride
That one bad fall did not end so easily
That one leap made this life long journey a pain
She walks in her crutches with her head down
She limps through her way with the 'cruck' sound
That day she left with those memories in her mind
With hope and determination that soon it all unwinds
That one moment when she missed the hole and took the leap
Her thoughts so much around you; those feelings were so deep
That one bad fall that will never let her sleep.
Someday Somewhere..
In my search for freedom and peace of mind, I have left the memories behind.. Try to throw the picturre outta my mind. Try to leave the memories behind.. Do you know the truth, I am thinking of you too! Someday somewhere together we will be baby.I will take and you will take your time... The love we had together just fades away with time.. The passion that you planted in the middle of my heart.. Is the passion that will never stop..
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Void
I was told that if I do not think, things will be eventually fine. Arn't things fine? What is it when things are not fine? Don't know. I am quiet, I do not think much. I do think about what happened- the good part mostly, but I shut the thought as quickly as possible. Escapist? No, I am not. I am only trying not to think much. Smile? I don't think if I smile or not but when I am told I don't, I realise I have left "smile" behind me. Hmmm! Ok. That is it. May be.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
They say, "Arrange Marriage? How much do you know him?"
I have seen and experienced longest relationships breaking instantaneously. I have come to realize that to 'Make a relationship', it is the maturity of two minds that matters.
Wonderful thing about a relationship is that even 1 mature mind and 1 averagely mature mind can take the relationship to the next level. Compatibility is in our hands - it is the calmness, stability and sanity of our mind which attempts to comprehend our partner's viewpoint.
So instead of looking for someone who thinks like you, have an approach to understand his viewpoint and then decide if it is something which culturally fits well into yours.
You may be meeting and having a banter with your friends for years, but can you really spend your lifetime with any 1 of them? Forget about not seeing them that way. Just give it a thought, is there any person with whom you can spend your whole life with? If there is, you should be right now approaching him/her and if not, ask the big WHY?
Years really do not matter so much but certain logical moments do. You can never know a person for the longest time, but what is essential is the basics of the person is right. If problem is in the root of the tree, the fruits would only look beautiful but would not sweet taste once you bite them.
To sum it up, I would rather respect and appreciate the liberty of decision my parents have rest upon me, but would not act childish by setting unrealistic expectations and taking forever to commit to a guy.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Wonderful thing about a relationship is that even 1 mature mind and 1 averagely mature mind can take the relationship to the next level. Compatibility is in our hands - it is the calmness, stability and sanity of our mind which attempts to comprehend our partner's viewpoint.
So instead of looking for someone who thinks like you, have an approach to understand his viewpoint and then decide if it is something which culturally fits well into yours.
You may be meeting and having a banter with your friends for years, but can you really spend your lifetime with any 1 of them? Forget about not seeing them that way. Just give it a thought, is there any person with whom you can spend your whole life with? If there is, you should be right now approaching him/her and if not, ask the big WHY?
Years really do not matter so much but certain logical moments do. You can never know a person for the longest time, but what is essential is the basics of the person is right. If problem is in the root of the tree, the fruits would only look beautiful but would not sweet taste once you bite them.
To sum it up, I would rather respect and appreciate the liberty of decision my parents have rest upon me, but would not act childish by setting unrealistic expectations and taking forever to commit to a guy.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Sunday, November 13, 2011
This shall pass too!
When life tests your tolerance and patience by putting worse possible scenarios before you, you end up wondering what God really wants from you?-whether he wants you to get stronger, whether he wants you to say it to him that you give up ? Is this your karma or some else’s which you are bearing!
My recent bad fall, followed by a crazy looking plaster and the never ending search for just 'one' genuine guy is teaching me a lot of many things.
I stand firmly on my one foot, waiting for a transportation to take me to work but mostly none are willing to go that far. The long wait teaches me a lot about life and people. Amidst the wait, just ONE auto guy in those rare situations drops me midway and helps me find a transportation. Colleagues, whose names I did not know of for over 2 years greets me and asks, "Ma'am do you want me to drop you somewhere?" and it is not just a question for the sake of formality, but they prove their genuine intention by enacting upon it. It teaches me that there are some people who are sensitive, some not so sensitive and some who are too occupied in their world.
A friend said, “You have always been strong and you should not give up". What is giving up in the first place? Losing hope in life? In people? I may have my timely emotional outbursts but I do not know to give up anymore. A friend said, “It’s nothing wrong to cry" but crying after a lot of tolerance makes you feel low, if not weak!
The good thing about a phase is that it passes; and the bad thing about a memory is that you remember what happened. Cut ! The good thing about a phase is that it passes, and the best thing about a strong mind is that you take it as an experience, learn your lessons and become a better human.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
My recent bad fall, followed by a crazy looking plaster and the never ending search for just 'one' genuine guy is teaching me a lot of many things.
I stand firmly on my one foot, waiting for a transportation to take me to work but mostly none are willing to go that far. The long wait teaches me a lot about life and people. Amidst the wait, just ONE auto guy in those rare situations drops me midway and helps me find a transportation. Colleagues, whose names I did not know of for over 2 years greets me and asks, "Ma'am do you want me to drop you somewhere?" and it is not just a question for the sake of formality, but they prove their genuine intention by enacting upon it. It teaches me that there are some people who are sensitive, some not so sensitive and some who are too occupied in their world.
A friend said, “You have always been strong and you should not give up". What is giving up in the first place? Losing hope in life? In people? I may have my timely emotional outbursts but I do not know to give up anymore. A friend said, “It’s nothing wrong to cry" but crying after a lot of tolerance makes you feel low, if not weak!
The good thing about a phase is that it passes; and the bad thing about a memory is that you remember what happened. Cut ! The good thing about a phase is that it passes, and the best thing about a strong mind is that you take it as an experience, learn your lessons and become a better human.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Friday, November 11, 2011
From the corner of a GIRL's Eye
I have been walking on the road in the night for the longest time and none accompanied me for long in this journey. After a while, saw a companion and despite being dark, the brightness and aura of the person was evident.
I accompanied her where she took me and she enlightened me of the world outside where everyday sun shines. I knew from her that emotions are also reciprocated and I got it all I could ask for. She became my best friend who taught me lot of emotions; which I had not shown for long but she showed in her reciprocation towards me what friendship is all about.
I always knew the brightened up world for me is just for sometime and amid the journey I would feel a mismatch. I told her, back there is materialism and its too dark; this world of yours has too much love, care and unconditional friendship.
But I had to go back to my world; I was thrown back there without much option left with me. My best friend followed and she learnt some bitter truths of this world; bad people including my changing face, shrewd ones, materialism. I went into the company of the same people because of no choice and in the process lost my best friend due to utter state of confusion to be what I should be - the girl I was in that brightened up world or the one where I was born amidst the darkness?
I let my best friend go or she would have been lost in the darkness too with me. This was not no sacrifice. This was pure selfishness of me. I was tired fighting with the world I was born and I realized my best friend should not anymore be a victim of my instability.
Years passed and as I still walked alone on the road, I found a person walking on the road from behind me - it was already too dark and so was the person; I could barely see his real face and while I saw him coming towards me, I realized I found a companion.
We walked together and he would tell me everyday how there is a tunnel right there and the light throwing from there. I was ecstatic, waiting to continue this journey with him and reach the end of the tunnel. The journey was long enough and I spoke with him at length, first time feeling I am no more alone forever.
I dreamt and lived at the same time with him. I was convinced this is love. Often he wouldn't talk and I would ask for the same love and care and he would pretend to be deaf and dumb. He overtakes me eventually and starts walking ahead of me; I keep calling his name, shout for him to take care of me and love me as he showed once.
He leaves and goes far enough for me to never see him anymore. Today I still walk alone with no expectation. He was a dark image but I could see his structure. Today I do not even have that dark image which once filled my void.
Today I walk on the pitch dark road, stumble in between , break my leg but no hand to offer me support. I see him from a distance and he looks back at me; how I desperately gather myself to come back to my feet, fall over and over but he keeps standing there, now ignoring me completely.
I now walk with no destination and I'm alone. Its pitch dark and I can't see anything at all yet I carry on blindly and aimlessly. I cry tremendously and then I stop wondering what is the point? Then I stop crying and then over a few days again I want to cry it all out again.
Still walking and waiting for the finish line, if there is any!
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S I have become imaginative ;)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The IMPACT
Just a thought....
Sometimes the ‘IMPACT’ is felt in bits, spread over days and it doesn’t seem like it would end any sooner. Self-empowerment, will power, motivational books, audios and movies do not help either. You realize your sanity is leaving your world and instant frustration over life in general is domineering.
Whole day goes in experiencing the lump in the throat, where the ‘strong you’ stops you from crying again. Whole day goes in saying, ‘don’t think about it anymore, but the very thought is a remembrance in itself’. Whole day goes in asking, ‘was it my karma or someone else’s?”
Sometimes the ‘IMPACT of the END’ stays for such long that nothing else matters anymore; no betrayal; no rudeness of someone, no apathy from them; what you ask yourself is “How to keep ourselves happy and motivated?”
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S It is when you know how to keep yourself happy then can you make others happy.
Sometimes the ‘IMPACT’ is felt in bits, spread over days and it doesn’t seem like it would end any sooner. Self-empowerment, will power, motivational books, audios and movies do not help either. You realize your sanity is leaving your world and instant frustration over life in general is domineering.
Whole day goes in experiencing the lump in the throat, where the ‘strong you’ stops you from crying again. Whole day goes in saying, ‘don’t think about it anymore, but the very thought is a remembrance in itself’. Whole day goes in asking, ‘was it my karma or someone else’s?”
Sometimes the ‘IMPACT of the END’ stays for such long that nothing else matters anymore; no betrayal; no rudeness of someone, no apathy from them; what you ask yourself is “How to keep ourselves happy and motivated?”
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S It is when you know how to keep yourself happy then can you make others happy.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Hiding in the Dark?
Truth is the most discouraged reality and pretence- the most appreciated and most lived in Kalyug.
Lived life telling people all is good; why reveal agonies to anyone and everyone! Sheer sign of being weak. Oh! Is it really?
I lay on my bed, covert myself in the blanket,
I pretend to sleep as deep as possible as I cowardly cry
No one notices the wet pillow when the door is closed
How helpless and futile is to hug a pillow and assume its you..
There is no such thing as God when you wipe your tears on your own
Cry as mutely as possible so that no one outside hears
Every shed tear tells you to be strong and evade the other waiting to drop by
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S Those sleepless nights when you are with your SELF.
Lived life telling people all is good; why reveal agonies to anyone and everyone! Sheer sign of being weak. Oh! Is it really?
I lay on my bed, covert myself in the blanket,
I pretend to sleep as deep as possible as I cowardly cry
No one notices the wet pillow when the door is closed
How helpless and futile is to hug a pillow and assume its you..
There is no such thing as God when you wipe your tears on your own
Cry as mutely as possible so that no one outside hears
Every shed tear tells you to be strong and evade the other waiting to drop by
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S Those sleepless nights when you are with your SELF.
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Love's sweet embrace, forever denied, In the depths of anguish, I now reside. A heart once ablaze, fears shall turn ...
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