Ache-Companion

I wake up every morning checking my cell phone and I lay on the bed with the phone beside me. I found that I built an attachment with something which has no life. In today’s day and age of medical science a lot of our actions and reactions have a psychiatric terminology. They say that people who get stressed when they are unable to use their cell phone are termed as nomophobics.

I find myself switching off this phone often and I am surprised to sense peace.  I do not anymore feel bogged down with messages that no more are SMSes but are substitutes of internet chats. I only and only want to spend some bit of that time quietly on a weekend which comes to me like a favor after keeping my mind mentally occupied for 5 days. 

I am at that point in life where I am not looking for companionship of any kind. Let’s just say I am not ready to make my heart and mind go through the same torturous episode which end up being the same every time I give life another chance. I am not complacent; I am only scared to hurt myself again. It is not always easy to pull yourself out of it and instill positive thoughts. 

Despite this decision, I find myself feeling low every time I notice people in love. My inner voice speaks for once and tells me “Love does exist”.  Not all men cheat their partner. Not all men retain a shallow hollow relationship with a face that lives somewhere far away and choose to lose the one who truly loved them. Not all men disrespect the bond called “Partners for life” which is termed as a marriage institution. But you chose to call it off. You chose to reprimand me for being with you despite your infidelity. 

What Karma can I tell you of? I am one big sinner in this life of 28 years and every time I switch on the news channel, I realize my sin must not be so big as I think it is. Pity! I need not compare the bad with the evil to defend my wrong doings. 

I am at that stage of life where I cannot trust a man enough to surrender my emotions to him. 

I am at that stage of life where I am tired of any kind of companionship, be it even with my phone. 

Written by Vrushali Deshpande