I live in a country where mental compatibility may not be as important as horoscope compatibility. I live with a family which does not believe in the latter and it is fine. I live with neighbors of relation who believe in keeping fast in the name of God, but I live with a family who does not believe starving is a way to God. I hang around with friends who have extreme say on both. My books, learnings and experiences have taught me that being practical is a way to life. Have belief in yourself more than anyhing else in life. And with this I become a composite of a confused culture. Who am I really?
It is said that what we are is because of our upbringing, our values imbibed within us by our parents; what we make of ourselves is because of the people we meet in life; the friends we make, the books we read, the media we are exposed to and the experiences we have. All in all, it is challenging to sort your mind out and develop individuality within yourself.
If you are sensitive, the world would not be quite good to your emotions and thus, you wear a shield all the time to defend yourself. In the process of wearing the shield for the longest time, it becomes automatically a part of your personality. Who am I really? A sensitive girl who would once get hurt easily or a woman whose first impression in everyone’s mind is ‘strong personality’?
It is not important to classify ourselves into X and Y. It is not important to carve out that we believe in X and not in Y. It is not always important to be so judgmental about ourselves. It is important that the base of our being – our conscience, our soul does not feel we are doing wrong. It is important to be a good human than being anything else.
Who got hurt more in a break-up? There is probably no wrong question to ask in a relationship than this one. Often we think we suffered through the worse and in the process we neglect the agonies of our partner. A broken relationship may shock you a little longer, but it does not change the love you have for them. It is important to respect the one you love despite laying on the ashes of a broken bond. It is not love if one storm or probably several such can transform your emotions towards them. Love is love when it is constant; permanent and eternal. To love someone does not mean you have to possess them. As long as the emotion of respect thrives within you, God is in it.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
When there is a gap between what we expect from people and what they give to us, we encourage complaints to creep in. Expressing your dissatisfied thought in form of a complaint never really makes the person reciprocate positively on it. It is important to tell them what we desire, but it is not important to tell them what they do not provide to us.
I meet a lot of people everyday in life. I hear their opinions, ideologies and I realize how different each one is from me. What may seem just so right to me may be completely wrong to another and vice versa. Often relationships are complicated when we impose our beliefs on someone who has had his individual learnings from life.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Love is not only about seeing the rosy picture in a relationship and expect butterflies to fly around you, but also about the will to accept and tackle the challenges in a relationship. People come from different backgrounds and set of thinking and each individual has a perspective to things he has experienced in life. Relationships are not complicated; but it is a union of two people who come together from completely different set of thinking.
It is funny that in 27 years of my life, I have encountered most people who want to run away from the challenges in hope to find someone who would only be goodie-goodie all their life. Are you really thinking that is possible? Best part about being with someone who has his opinion is that you learn something more than you already know. You see a different way of looking at a thing, but with it would come the challenge of clashing opinions and this should not impact the foundation of the relationship.
Beauty of a relationship is when you are able to ‘+’ someone’s ‘-‘. Two people in a relationship should growth together and understand each other rather than discarding right away. It is pertinent to have a flexible mentality and without which, one would not be able to accept another. Why do we really expect people to be like us? Or say things to us which we will only like to hear? Would not we be then expecting them to be robots, the remote control for which is in our hands?
You grow up not when you make good money and progress in your career; you grow up when you are able to accept that every person is different and escapism from this would only invite more such circumstances in your life. It is not important sometimes to change the other; it is sometimes most important to change ourselves.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Being emotional makes some take advantage, being practical makes some think you are a strong woman and when you strike the balance between the two, they say you are good with 'Words'.
Fortunate thing for a writer is he or she can express his or her genuine feelings in words. Ironically, some term those genuine feelings as word play :)
Some poet said, "When you WOW on my writings, i do not know how to react, because what i wrote is what i felt and what i felt was not good."
Today a girl's exposure in career is also a reason for some guys to say, "I feel you are too polished for me, I feel inferiority complex when with you." Julia Roberts said in Notting hill, "At the end of the day, I am still a normal girl, waiting for a guy to love her."
A girl who seems mentally strong requires a 'Man' who can decipher her sensitivity. It is important for a Man to make her feel, "I am around and you are safe with me."
It is simple to get blinded when you are around glamor, but the true test of your character is when you value and live the simplicity of life after seeing too much dazzle and glitter around you.
They say, Google is a man's best friend. I say, Words are!
Knowingly and unknowingly I have hurt people, but when the same happens with me, I have no right to say, "Shit happens"
Chivalry is not in pulling the chair for a girl in the restaurant or opening the door of the car for her to get in. Chivalry is in simply respecting her, without having the need to say it.
-- by Vrushali Deshpande
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