Want to believe you are angry!

Must have been in this life, that I must be cursed.  Rarity of my involvement in someone cannot make it purely coincidental that they go away from me always. I vow after every loss that I would not let love get over me again.  But this time yet again I end up reprimanding myself on purpose for loving someone so purely unknowingly. 

I have lost the control on my tears and I now fail miserably to freeze my expressions.  You cared, you loved, but you never said.  You protected, you worried, but you never said.  You loved me in your own way and I appreciated every expression of it. 

But it took you just a day to bring everything to an end. You did not let me speak; you did not let me discuss the fate of our relationship; you did not give me an opportunity to argue with you. I am not sure if I would have argued with you. May be not. But the point is, you did not give me an opportunity.

You slammed the door on my face and I decided to not knock it again. It occurred to me later that it was the last day I ever saw you, that it was the last time you said good-bye to me.  

I do not want to explain. I do not want to justify. I do not want to appear weak before you because you liked me strong. I do not want to cry before you, because you liked me when I smiled.

I want to believe that you will be angry with me for life. I want to believe you will never talk to me. I want to believe that my chapter is over and you have flipped through the pages and moved ahead.

 Written by Vrushali Deshpande