Breaking Free From the Soulmate Myth

Growing up, we have all been fed with fairy tales and stories about finding our one true soulmate who will rescue us from any pain or hardship we may face. We were taught to believe that there is someone out there who is meant just for us, and all we have to do is wait for them to appear and our lives will be complete.

As innocent children, it was easy for us to believe in this fairy tale. After all, who doesn't want a happily ever after with their perfect soulmate? But what we didn't realize was that subconsciously, we were putting our happiness on hold and placing it in the hands of a delusional belief.

I know this because I was one of those who fell for the soulmate myth. I was so consumed with the idea of finding my soulmate that I neglected to love myself. I believed that my happiness was dependent on finding the one perfect person who would complete me.

It wasn't until I read the book 'The Mountain is You' that I started to question this belief. The book opened my eyes to the fact that I had allowed my inner child, who still believed in fairy tales, to be sabotaged. I had unknowingly subjected her to insults and abuse from someone I foolishly thought was my soulmate.

This person through apathy, humiliation, betrayals upon betrayals, slapped me so hard on my beliefs - that just because someone went through a similar agonizing journey like me, they must be like me.

I learnt the hard way that not all who cry deserve to be helped, because when they do the exact thing to you that once made them cry, they just look at you expressionless like a frozen statue - So cold and heartless. 

A soulmate is someone who will stand by me, and support me as we face those challenges together. A soulmate is someone who has the best intent for me and guide me when I do wrong and when I do too much good for the wrong type. 

It was a harsh realization, but it was also a turning point in my life. 

For the first time in 40 years, I found myself crying and begging for forgiveness from my own self. I had always prided myself on being loyal and trustworthy, but I had failed to be loyal and trustworthy to myself.

My happiness and sense of completeness cannot only come from another person. This false narrative was detrimental to my mental health and well-being.

Only I am responsible for my happiness by the choices I make in life.

- Written by Vrushali Deshpande