Today...

If I was what I was then living today would not have been possible. I do not explain to myself the reason for my change because situations did not give me a chance to reason with myself. This, what I am today was my choice out of obligation of seeing tomorrow. 

I look back and see a good human that prevailed within me. Today I am with someone I cannot truly relate to. “Am I bad now?” He says, “No”. Can I believe words? 

I do not put forward the reasons that make me write this here. The day I do, I will ridicule someone’s one bit of love. “Is it important to see love they have or the apathy they offer you for all your life?” 

I tell him I suffer through two personalities – one that is too strong and self-independent and other that is innately too sentimental. “Did I choose the former to conceal the latter?” 

Today what I am makes me live; makes me spend the days I have in life. Today what I am is not what I can connect with. “Am I happy at all?”

Written by Vrushali Deshpande