Untimely cry seems like has become a part of my every day chore; these uninvited tears seem to have found its home beneath my eyes. Heart fills with too much pain, the reason for which hides deep within my soul. Mind seems to have become too engrossed in thoughts that have no visuals; that have no story. I pass days and nights without once realizing I have gone way quieter from within to hear the noise of my silence.
I long to become stronger to escape the burns of my tears; and with this determination I create more space within me to store unhappiness. I foolishly presume my rudeness to be numbness and with this delusion I push myself more into the ‘zero’ state – where nothing exists.
Deaf to the music of rain, I for the only time do not feel the need to hide these tears. The roaring of the cloud awakens me from my thoughtless world and rains seem to have something to teach me. I flashback my life to recall the abrupt school holidays due to ill-timed rains and realize how alien happiness has now become to me.
I smirk as soon as I blink to bury this memory; and wonder in surprise that it made me go back fourteen years just to recall my last memory of happiness.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
While I was reading this, I felt the sadness. But it was multiplied after reading the end of it:
ReplyDelete‘I smirk as soon as I blink to bury this memory; and wonder in surprise that it made me go back fourteen years just to recall my last memory of happiness.’
Been a while since I read you, but the feeling I had experienced then comes back in an instant. Very well written, Vrushali!
It's my honor to receive a comment from Mr.Mahajan after a long time ;)
ReplyDeleteAs I told you the other day on phone, whatever I write is on impulse. While it stems directly from my heart; my mind is way too resilient to hold the negativity for long.
Ralph Emerson, an American Philosopher said, "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."