The day I convinced my mind for an arranged set up, I imagined a very convenient way to go about especially when love affair did not hold water. The day I convinced my mind to know someone completely new, I did not know I have taken the decision to experience the biggest gamble of relationship.
I did not think it would be difficult for me to express my real ‘self’ before because words always made it possible for me; I did not think it would be a task for me to understand someone because it is ‘listening’ that upgrades my learning everyday. I did not take time to make friends and while I ticked on every such point, I was assured ‘arrange’ would not be such a big deal at all.
While faces can change and words may sound different in every rendezvous, what remains inconsistent is the feeling you get for each of them. I realized that out of the countless you meet; it is only with few you can actually connect with.
I showed thumbs up to this concept hoping to really like the person I eventually get hooked up to because I know love takes time. While it is too easy to hold numerous meetings with one; it is our heart that can make us feel meetings to be interesting or boring.
While it is too easy to have intelligent conversations with one; it is the call from our heart that eventually attracts us towards them. While it is too easy to evaluate someone according to our priorities and behavior; it is our heart that makes us feel love for them.
I cannot fake liking; I cannot fake concern; I cannot fake my feelings and while more or less some people are fine, I do not know to say a ‘yes’ because I am nowhere remotely attracted towards them.
Often when we receive care from the person; we start to value the feelings they hold towards us. Funny isn’t it, when people evaluate you on your every reaction trying to conclude the image of your character in their mind?
Your heart is too closed and does not feel anything for specific people and their reciprocation is too evaluating in nature, leaving no scope for any emotional connection at all.
While the people I connect with emotionally do not turn out to be secure mentally and the ones I do not connect with on that level are the ones I end up feeling like a good old buddy, and having any such thought will be an absolute unacceptable gesture.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
