Sometimes I stare blankly at my television giving an impression to people around me that I am just fine. Often I evade eye contact with them just to escape from their query of concern.
I often choose silence before my loved ones because I do not want them to know how much faith I have lost in life. I detach my emotions from my friends because I do not want to pass on my negativity into their life. I deny talking to myself because I do not want to make myself aware of the extent to which I am broken from within.
I silent myself before people who love me and I am in no position to trust people who do not love me. I stay quiet to gossips around me; I stay quiet to complaints of people; I wish that just for one day life decides to leave me alone and I can choose to do what I want to do; I can choose to be how I want to be. Today amidst everything I have forgotten the way to my life.
The more I appear stronger to people in real life; the more my weakness gets apparent here; the more people are scared of me in real life; the more I express here how detached I want to be from their emotions. Today I do not know how I started with in life; if I was better than this or have I become stronger in real life to handle it all.
The only way I get to know how far I have come in emotions; the only way I get to read me is when I am here. My blog lets me be.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
