Poison of pessimism gushes through our body unknowingly and life’s setbacks aggravate its spread. How naive I was to not understand that pessimism is always in ones mind and never a way of living life.
A droplet on the face during monsoon irritates a mentally distressed mind but raptures a mind which moves in a positive direction. Sun-set indicates a strong signal of good-bye to an anguished person but a ray of hope for an optimist.
I let the events which I loved calling “big” rule my way of life. To a tormented pessimistic mind almost all the events has left a painful mark; but to an optimist some events rarely go noticeable to his mind.
Determination fades when urge of living joyfully alleviates. An ambitious becomes aimless when he/she completely succumbs to situations which did not happen the way they expected them to happen. An event saddens a human’s mind when there is a huge difference between expectation and reality.
Two days back my dear friend lost his mother and this awareness to me after 2 long days explained the extent to which I had gone far from my people. She missed me enough to remember me often; she loved me enough to pray for me in my absence. I touched the soft toy gifted to me by her and I apologized tearfully.
But I did not cry anymore, I did not want to continue repenting that I should have not gone far away. I stopped myself from once again succumbing to the situation and giving away by holding myself responsible and repenting for not visiting once.
It was time to be with my friend and now there is no looking back.
Aloofness from friends and family only leads to repentance when the pain we cry on becomes too small compared to the trauma they had to go through in their life. At that moment, this mind liberates from its self-centered world where the only one in pain we thought was our own body; the reality however was we never wanted to see what lies beyond our world.
She so much wanted to live life and she could not; when we have everything possible we nag over things just because they did not happen the way we wanted them to happen.
Helpless she was that she could not survive, but she fought cancer till the end. She disregarded the reports and continued to imbibe positive thoughts and energized herself to live life.
This loss in a strange way has made me to value people around me; it has told me that there is more to life which is yet to be explored.
Life has just begun in me.
I was regretting not being there but somehow i knew that my presence would not have made much of a difference. Sometimes it is so important to get over things alone...
ReplyDeleteafter reading this.......
I am relieved...