The busy man in your life

“I absolutely disgust people who are two faced & I do not know which of his cheek to slap first”, wrote a classmate of mine from the MBA batch on her facebook profile. Instantaneously, I replied, “I suggest kiss on his one cheek & slap on the other. You never know the toes you step on today could be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.”

While the reply struck my mind in seconds, I wondered if outburst of our anger on people (not ‘very’ closely connected to us) would be the right thing to do. Diplomacy indeed has become the need of today in order to survive in today’s highly competitive world. I do not know if calling ‘diplomacy’ would be appropriate or is it simply an attitude to maintain cordial relationship with everyone for selfish reasons by being in complete control of your emotions.

I have often seen people who run so fast initially towards the need for survival and then chasing to fulfilling their dreams that they seldom find time for their closed knit relationships. Nevertheless, to run the family the former is essential & to mount luxury on your loved ones, the latter is important – Yes, at the cost of compromising on the time you give to your loved ones or more often not finding time to simply express your love for them once in a day

All my life I stressed a lot on the need of love & care; mainly the role of emotions in a human’s life. The need for it increased every year when the more and more people I met in this city had their world revolving around materialism and I wondered how important money & success is to everyone. I do not know if calling them ‘materialistic’ would be appropriate or were they simply working hard to survive in this highly expensive city and the ones, who went beyond just survival, were making a mark to fulfill their dreams.

I too have dreams & they are big enough to create my own individual identity; but yet amidst the hectic life; amidst the materialism & luxury emerges a need for love & care – a realization that back home, there’s someone you want to share your day with.

Yesterday someone told me, “Men are blessed with only one quality and that is ‘Tolerance’ before ‘Expression’.” I replied after a deep gasp with no thought of feminism on my mind, “Women are blessed with both tolerance & the ability to express.”

George .H. Lewes and a ‘man’ himself quoted, “It is not enough that a man has clearness of vision, and reliance on sincerity, he must also have the art of expression, or he will remain obscure."

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Secret of a Tough Woman

In past, the story started with “Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a princess waiting expectantly for her prince, who of course comes to her rescue in his shining armour astride a white horse, upon which they both ride into the sunset and to a place called Happily Ever After.”

It was not long ago that women dreamt of men coming to rescue them and eloping them onto a white horse; however, things may have changed just a little for quite a few of them. A contemporary story in the present scenario shall start with “Once upon a time there was a princess and along came a prince who asked her if she would like ride on his white horse. She said, ‘I cannot right now because I am a little busy getting my own horse. Go ride off into the sunset without me and I will catch up a little later so then we can ride side by side.”

I am not a feminist and thus I do not intend to convey that women are perfectly capable enough of taking care of themselves and they do not fancy romance or love in their life. They indeed do; and that’s why the princess in the contemporary story insists to ride side by side. The dependency factor or reliance curve on the man has shifted a little down for a woman who is not a working girl necessarily, but who is an ambitious working girl aiming to make it big. There is also quite a huge difference in terms of personality traits between a girl who just works to earn a living and a girl who works because she dreams to make it big eventually.

The latter appears strong, determined, independent, mature and resilient but yet deep down within her is a woman who is waiting for a man to fill the void. She’s been too strong on her inherently sensitive heart and to survive the competitively dominant male society, she expresses more strength than she ever holds. When before the love of her life, this contemporary woman often gets confused between the woman in her and the traits she had to imbibe in her to survive fierce competition. - A personality crisis of some sort.

The stronger a woman appears to be; the more sensitive her heart is. It is to conceal this sensitivity that she wears the mask and eventually this mask absorbs into her as one of the part of her overall personality. This heart has an infinite capacity to love, which is one of the most beautiful things about being the way she. This woman of contemporary can forgive you so easily that you would second guess the crime you committed on her heart.

While you find this complication a bit difficult to handle in the start; the only way to break through all of this is to only love her unconditionally.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Road Accident

I often said to myself no matter the emotional turmoil which most often lasts for few hours, I should always learn to value life. Despite the recurrent negative write ups, and expression of emotions in its most explicit sense, I never could find the creativity within me to write a completely positive article and express optimism which I implement in life. Most often than I can think of, I was encouraged by readers to express the beauty of happy emotions in my writings and I failed in vain.

7th July, 2010, a rainy day on a Wednesday morning, I was all prepared to manage the Press Conference of my company, Audi India at the mahalaxmi race course, Mumbai.

Murphy’s law as it some times is ‘ things go wrong when they are meant to go wrong’, I was unable to find a decent transportation from home, and thus, my company car was sent to pick me up from Hotel Trident, Bandra at sharp 08:15 hrs. I started my journey in an auto rickshaw at 07:45 hrs to make it to trident on time.

A smooth surface road where it is not the traffic that is expected but speedy vehicles,I was on the Bandra Kurla Complex Road in Mumbai. Five minutes from my desired destination, the driver decides to switch his auto rickshaw in the sport mode, making me experience sportiness in a local machine. For some strange reason at that very moment, a pedestrian happened to act eccentric and crossed the road with every possible intention to die. While he got saved by a Hyundai car in the first attempt, where the driver braked on time, the foolish man was soon to get a hit by my unsteady auto rickshaw.

The most right thing to do that very moment, the driver of my auto rickshaw braked in from his sport mode on the wet slippery road , whereby I experienced the weirdest feeling of my life. I felt the brake; I heard its noise; I experienced the record breaking RPM (rotations per minute) of the auto rickshaw. The auto rickshaw toppled, all topsy turvy.

A second ago when the view before my eyes was the windscreen, it was now the chassis (bottom) of the auto rickshaw, where nothing else seemed visible to my naked eyes. I knew it for sure in those few seconds that 'my life is over'.

I did not have the time for fear of death to grip my heart; I was in a state which I will never be able to define. Saying it 'being unconscious with eyes open' would be an understatement. All I can recall is a strange sadness, where I wished during the topple that it did not end so soon.

Out of more than 30 men gathered, only 1 lady in her 40's took me out of the rick, making me climb on what happens to be the bottom of the auto. She calmed me down when I was in a complete shock; looked at me with only concern when she did not even know me; uttered 'God bless you'and I could feel the genuine pray that followed with it.

Flip side to Murphy’s Law, ‘when things are meant to go right, they always do, no matter what’. The seat of the auto rickshaw came out, the handle twisted badly and I come out with only bruises on my body, which later resulted in only a swollen hand and leg.

I guess, this is what it meant when people said, 'you are God's favourite child'.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Tears

Untimely cry seems like has become a part of my every day chore; these uninvited tears seem to have found its home beneath my eyes. Heart fills with too much pain, the reason for which hides deep within my soul. Mind seems to have become too engrossed in thoughts that have no visuals; that have no story. I pass days and nights without once realizing I have gone way quieter from within to hear the noise of my silence.

I long to become stronger to escape the burns of my tears; and with this determination I create more space within me to store unhappiness. I foolishly presume my rudeness to be numbness and with this delusion I push myself more into the ‘zero’ state – where nothing exists.

Deaf to the music of rain, I for the only time do not feel the need to hide these tears. The roaring of the cloud awakens me from my thoughtless world and rains seem to have something to teach me. I flashback my life to recall the abrupt school holidays due to ill-timed rains and realize how alien happiness has now become to me.

I smirk as soon as I blink to bury this memory; and wonder in surprise that it made me go back fourteen years just to recall my last memory of happiness.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande