This shall pass too!

When life tests your tolerance and patience by putting worse possible scenarios before you, you end up wondering what God really wants from you?-whether he wants you to get stronger, whether he wants you to say it to him that you give up ? Is this your karma or some else’s which you are bearing!

My recent bad fall, followed by a crazy looking plaster and the never ending search for just 'one' genuine guy is teaching me a lot of many things.

I stand firmly on my one foot, waiting for a transportation to take me to work but mostly none are willing to go that far. The long wait teaches me a lot about life and people. Amidst the wait, just ONE auto guy in those rare situations drops me midway and helps me find a transportation. Colleagues, whose names I did not know of for over 2 years greets me and asks, "Ma'am do you want me to drop you somewhere?" and it is not just a question for the sake of formality, but they prove their genuine intention by enacting upon it. It teaches me that there are some people who are sensitive, some not so sensitive and some who are too occupied in their world.

A friend said, “You have always been strong and you should not give up". What is giving up in the first place? Losing hope in life? In people? I may have my timely emotional outbursts but I do not know to give up anymore. A friend said, “It’s nothing wrong to cry" but crying after a lot of tolerance makes you feel low, if not weak!

The good thing about a phase is that it passes; and the bad thing about a memory is that you remember what happened. Cut ! The good thing about a phase is that it passes, and the best thing about a strong mind is that you take it as an experience, learn your lessons and become a better human.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

From the corner of a GIRL's Eye

I have been walking on the road in the night for the longest time and none accompanied me for long in this journey. After a while, saw a companion and despite being dark, the brightness and aura of the person was evident.

I accompanied her where she took me and she enlightened me of the world outside where everyday sun shines. I knew from her that emotions are also reciprocated and I got it all I could ask for. She became my best friend who taught me lot of emotions; which I had not shown for long but she showed in her reciprocation towards me what friendship is all about.

I always knew the brightened up world for me is just for sometime and amid the journey I would feel a mismatch. I told her, back there is materialism and its too dark; this world of yours has too much love, care and unconditional friendship.

But I had to go back to my world; I was thrown back there without much option left with me. My best friend followed and she learnt some bitter truths of this world; bad people including my changing face, shrewd ones, materialism. I went into the company of the same people because of no choice and in the process lost my best friend due to utter state of confusion to be what I should be - the girl I was in that brightened up world or the one where I was born amidst the darkness?

I let my best friend go or she would have been lost in the darkness too with me. This was not no sacrifice. This was pure selfishness of me. I was tired fighting with the world I was born and I realized my best friend should not anymore be a victim of my instability.

Years passed and as I still walked alone on the road, I found a person walking on the road from behind me - it was already too dark and so was the person; I could barely see his real face and while I saw him coming towards me, I realized I found a companion.

We walked together and he would tell me everyday how there is a tunnel right there and the light throwing from there. I was ecstatic, waiting to continue this journey with him and reach the end of the tunnel. The journey was long enough and I spoke with him at length, first time feeling I am no more alone forever.

I dreamt and lived at the same time with him. I was convinced this is love. Often he wouldn't talk and I would ask for the same love and care and he would pretend to be deaf and dumb. He overtakes me eventually and starts walking ahead of me; I keep calling his name, shout for him to take care of me and love me as he showed once.

He leaves and goes far enough for me to never see him anymore. Today I still walk alone with no expectation. He was a dark image but I could see his structure. Today I do not even have that dark image which once filled my void.

Today I walk on the pitch dark road, stumble in between , break my leg but no hand to offer me support. I see him from a distance and he looks back at me; how I desperately gather myself to come back to my feet, fall over and over but he keeps standing there, now ignoring me completely.

I now walk with no destination and I'm alone. Its pitch dark and I can't see anything at all yet I carry on blindly and aimlessly. I cry tremendously and then I stop wondering what is the point? Then I stop crying and then over a few days again I want to cry it all out again.

Still walking and waiting for the finish line, if there is any!

Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S I have become imaginative ;)

The IMPACT

Just a thought....

Sometimes the ‘IMPACT’ is felt in bits, spread over days and it doesn’t seem like it would end any sooner. Self-empowerment, will power, motivational books, audios and movies do not help either. You realize your sanity is leaving your world and instant frustration over life in general is domineering.

Whole day goes in experiencing the lump in the throat, where the ‘strong you’ stops you from crying again. Whole day goes in saying, ‘don’t think about it anymore, but the very thought is a remembrance in itself’. Whole day goes in asking, ‘was it my karma or someone else’s?”

Sometimes the ‘IMPACT of the END’ stays for such long that nothing else matters anymore; no betrayal; no rudeness of someone, no apathy from them; what you ask yourself is “How to keep ourselves happy and motivated?”

Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S It is when you know how to keep yourself happy then can you make others happy.

Hiding in the Dark?

Truth is the most discouraged reality and pretence- the most appreciated and most lived in Kalyug.
Lived life telling people all is good; why reveal agonies to anyone and everyone! Sheer sign of being weak. Oh! Is it really?

I lay on my bed, covert myself in the blanket,
I pretend to sleep as deep as possible as I cowardly cry
No one notices the wet pillow when the door is closed
How helpless and futile is to hug a pillow and assume its you..
There is no such thing as God when you wipe your tears on your own
Cry as mutely as possible so that no one outside hears
Every shed tear tells you to be strong and evade the other waiting to drop by

Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S Those sleepless nights when you are with your SELF.

Betrayal - In a Relationship of 'TRUST'

Sometimes you are betrayed so many times by one person who you truly loved that you stop to have faith in your ability to judge and love the right people. Listen to your inner voice and it will show you the way always; never ignore the call of your conscience.

Sometimes someone gives you pain so repetitively that at the end of it when he or she shocks you with utmost betrayal you have nothing more than silence to give to yourself. Never be numb to pain; be human and it is all right if it happens, they are just human beings out there who have the ability unfortunately to love you and then hurt you.

Sometimes you are well aware of the games that people play, yet you do not have the stamina to fight or react, you do not have the attitude to take revenge and fight for what you feel.

Cheating you for someone else is no betrayal; today I learnt its meaning in its entirety. That is infidelity.

Hundred’s would make fun of your experience; some would gossip, some would smirk and laugh it aloud. Today nothing affects me.

It is not what others do to you that affects you; it is what you did to yourself for believing once again in a wrong person that affects you.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S Learn & Grow. Don't leap & Fall

My Insecure Generation

Smallest decision taken can lead to become the biggest mistake of your life. Letting someone walk into your life, without knowing the consequence in the future, is what we endanger ourselves into. Today, there are too many heart breaks because of easily available means like internet and mobile phone. The more approachable and reachable a person is, the more one vents out his or her frustration instantaneously. Words are no more carefully chosen; today words are abused and the impact is lived and experienced by a human. It does not surprise me then why relationships or affairs do not last these days.

Taking responsibility for your action is important, and people take them in their own way. Some realize they erred and apologize from heart instead of keeping a big ego. Not taking responsibility is running away from it, avoiding talking, getting annoyed and frustrated and wanting to change the topic because you are too incapable to deal with the situation in hand.

The more secure our generation seems, the more insecure we are from within; fighting for our job, our place at work; having the fear of not losing the one we love and yet giving that space. The more strong our generations seems to be, the more weak and sensitive it is from within and sometimes you reach that threshold and you just want to let it all go. Why let someone or something bring you to its threshold?

The more materialistic we have become, the more we are ready to sacrifice our self respect. We are trading respect for materialism and security? Where are we leading really? and are we truly happy despite the money into the account at the end of the month?

Written by Vrushali Deshpande
P:S Time for the KBC of LIFE :P

Lie to all the people you meet and tell them you're okay

Take in all those breaths That seems to get you through the day
Lie to all the people you meet and tell them you're okay

Try to walk around with your head held high - What would they say? If they see me cry!
Always say your fine when you smile to your friend because you have got the problems none of them can mend

Wait till late at night to watch the flowing tears
Close your eyes tight to make it stop, say a prayer and hope someone hears

Stare out the window Find peace in the sky
Keep your thoughts to yourself somewhere there deep inside

Look at the normal people Who pass you by?
There so happy and content And you want to know why

Go back to your room where you’re always alone
Watch the lights go down Because no ones home

Pull up your knees tight into your chest
Close your eyes gently and try to rest

Wish for something better Or for someone to see the tears down your face the marks that make it bleed

Open your eyes Stand up and be strong because what would the people say If they knew something was wrong

Take in all those breaths that seems to get you through the day
Lie to all the people you meet And tell them you're okay