Smiling Tears - An Expression of Life
Smiling Tears - An Expression of Life
  • Home
  • Download
  • Social
  • Features
    • Lifestyle
    • Sports Group
      • Category 1
      • Category 2
      • Category 3
      • Category 4
      • Category 5
    • Sub Menu 3
    • Sub Menu 4
  • Contact Us


Must have been in this life, that I must be cursed.  Rarity of my involvement in someone cannot make it purely coincidental that they go away from me always. I vow after every loss that I would not let love get over me again.  But this time yet again I end up reprimanding myself on purpose for loving someone so purely unknowingly. 

I have lost the control on my tears and I now fail miserably to freeze my expressions.  You cared, you loved, but you never said.  You protected, you worried, but you never said.  You loved me in your own way and I appreciated every expression of it. 

But it took you just a day to bring everything to an end. You did not let me speak; you did not let me discuss the fate of our relationship; you did not give me an opportunity to argue with you. I am not sure if I would have argued with you. May be not. But the point is, you did not give me an opportunity.
You slammed the door on my face and I decided to not knock it again. It occurred to me later that it was the last day I ever saw you, that it was the last time you said good-bye to me.  

I do not want to explain. I do not want to justify. I do not want to appear weak before you because you liked me strong. I do not want to cry before you, because you liked me when I smiled.

I want to believe that you will be angry with me for life. I want to believe you will never talk to me. I want to believe that my chapter is over and you have flipped through the pages and moved ahead.


 Written by Vrushali Deshpande




This emptiness that I live with; this unending story that you decided to write on me, I still sit on the last page of it. 

It doesn’t matter what I feel because what matters is what you believed in. 

I have heard a lot about myself, but you were the first to believe I fooled you.  It did not matter what else you said in the fit of your anger; it did not matter what else happened.   
Tell me how did you manage to break me down with that one line? 

Every time I took decisions to see myself happy, I ended up disappointing the ones I care for the most. Every time I took those decisions, I brought more unhappiness to me than ever before. 

In last four years, I expected nothing. I only wanted to give everything I could in the time I had with me. I tried doing my best.

It never mattered what I achieved; it mattered what I gave.
Countless people congratulated me for what I got. What they didn’t know was that I lost the person I genuinely loved. 

******************************************

"You said you do not want to see my face. You won't.

I took all my belongings that day but I left my smile back there. I won't come back for it. 

It is easier to believe I erred and live with it than disrespecting you by believing I was right."


Written by Vrushali Deshpande









I mean every word that I say or I would not say it at all. I feel every emotion that I express or I would not let you know at all. To me words define the way I am to myself.  What I am to you is how I treat myself.

I am not disappointed that you accused me of fooling you. I am disappointed at myself that just my being for so many years was not enough!  I am disappointed that since then I have been waking up almost every night in tears. I am disappointed that I love you enough to reprimand myself each day since then for a sin I have not committed.  

It does not matter how hard you get on me. What mattered to me was the love you gave me. It does not matter to me that you did not bid me farewell.  What mattered to me was you came back to say take care. It does not matter to me that you do not want to see my face again. What mattered to me was that you saw me once for that one last time. 

Is everything at all really a lie to you? Is every bit of me that I poured out really a lie to you? 

You always said, “We meet people twice.”  I will make sure that your wish of never seeing me again comes true.  Believe it for once that this pain which I yet cannot express in words will stay within me. 

Was everything that I wrote to you, said to you, really a lie to you?  Couldn’t you see me breaking down each day emotionally and destroying my physical being? Was the latter a lie to you too?

I stayed for you. I then left for myself.  I was honest to you then.  I am honest to you even now.

But if only you asked me once what is it besides everything that I hid from you, I would have said it all without thinking once.  
If I was honest to you then without you probing, why would not I be now?

You chose to escape the ugly part of the conflict for two months and decided to move on. I did the same just one week prior to going away.

I never believed you fooled me by escaping it. Why did you believe I did so then?

Written by Vrushali Deshpande


Be a little harsh, be a little cruel,
Do not hold too much love within you,
Be a mascot of pretense and tell the world you are kool!

Harden yourself; let your heart freeze,
Control your life! But don’t let yourself be at ease.

Splash iced water on those puffy eyes to punish your tears;
Challenge your innocence hard enough to fight your life-long fears,

Change yourself totally; be the one you were never were,
Give up your desire to get cared; sacrifice your intent to feel love

Mute your feelings towards God; silent your belief in faith
Stop fooling yourself with hopes and accept this damn fate!

Written by Vrushali Deshpande
There’s so much that I can do;
It’s just this far that I can go.
Life isn't about going through phases;
This long-lasting phase defines life to me.

Some said, “It shall too pass.”
If not “it”, at least people closest did pass away
Can there be a one-day break when everything would simply pause?
Can there be one night when tears don’t put me to sleep?

Smile isn't just a reaction to some;
Smile is sometimes the best form of ignoring pain.
Am I being strong or an escapist?
The question is no more looking for an answer.

If you were alive, would you be the same as them?
If you were with me, would you have protected me?
If you were there brother, would you have fought for me just once?

It was then that you went; it is then that he left too.
How then can I fight with this God who looks after you two?

There’s so much that I can do;
It’s just this far that I can go.
Life isn't about going through phases;
This long-lasting phase defines life to me.


Written by Vrushali Deshpande
Newer Posts Older Posts Home

ABOUT ME

I could look back at my life and get a good story out of it. It's a picture of somebody trying to figure things out.

SUBSCRIBE & FOLLOW

POPULAR POSTS

  • Want to believe you are angry!
  • Random thought
  • Breaking Free From the Soulmate Myth
  • Setting You Free
  • Last Conversation
Tasty Treats
Travel Journal

Categories

  • alone 1
  • friendship 1
  • home 1
  • loneliness 1
  • love 1
  • relationship 1

Advertisement

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
Powered by Blogger
Dead Angel

Ad Code

Responsive Advertisement

Report Abuse

Total Views

  • 2026 1
    • October 1
      • Last Conversation
  • 2025 1
    • August 1
  • 2024 47
    • November 2
    • October 3
    • July 3
    • June 1
    • May 3
    • April 8
    • March 24
    • February 2
    • January 1
  • 2023 5
    • November 1
    • October 1
    • January 3
  • 2022 19
    • November 3
    • October 14
    • July 1
    • June 1
  • 2021 16
    • October 2
    • September 1
    • August 1
    • June 1
    • May 1
    • April 1
    • March 9
  • 2019 7
    • October 3
    • September 4
  • 2016 1
    • May 1
  • 2013 14
    • October 3
    • September 2
    • August 3
    • July 2
    • June 1
    • May 1
    • April 1
    • February 1
  • 2012 18
    • December 4
    • November 1
    • August 1
    • July 5
    • May 1
    • March 1
    • February 3
    • January 2
  • 2011 34
    • December 6
    • November 9
    • October 1
    • September 2
    • August 3
    • April 2
    • March 3
    • February 3
    • January 5
  • 2010 41
    • December 3
    • November 6
    • October 6
    • September 2
    • August 2
    • July 4
    • June 5
    • May 4
    • April 5
    • February 2
    • January 2
  • 2009 20
    • December 1
    • November 1
    • October 3
    • August 3
    • July 2
    • June 5
    • May 2
    • March 1
    • February 2
  • 2008 8
    • August 1
    • July 2
    • June 2
    • May 1
    • March 2
  • 2007 11
    • December 1
    • October 1
    • September 1
    • August 4
    • June 4

Search This Blog

  • 2026 1
    • October 1
      • Last Conversation
  • 2025 1
    • August 1
  • 2024 47
    • November 2
    • October 3
    • July 3
    • June 1
    • May 3
    • April 8
    • March 24
    • February 2
    • January 1
  • 2023 5
    • November 1
    • October 1
    • January 3
  • 2022 19
    • November 3
    • October 14
    • July 1
    • June 1
  • 2021 16
    • October 2
    • September 1
    • August 1
    • June 1
    • May 1
    • April 1
    • March 9
  • 2019 7
    • October 3
    • September 4
  • 2016 1
    • May 1
  • 2013 14
    • October 3
    • September 2
    • August 3
    • July 2
    • June 1
    • May 1
    • April 1
    • February 1
  • 2012 18
    • December 4
    • November 1
    • August 1
    • July 5
    • May 1
    • March 1
    • February 3
    • January 2
  • 2011 34
    • December 6
    • November 9
    • October 1
    • September 2
    • August 3
    • April 2
    • March 3
    • February 3
    • January 5
  • 2010 41
    • December 3
    • November 6
    • October 6
    • September 2
    • August 2
    • July 4
    • June 5
    • May 4
    • April 5
    • February 2
    • January 2
  • 2009 20
    • December 1
    • November 1
    • October 3
    • August 3
    • July 2
    • June 5
    • May 2
    • March 1
    • February 2
  • 2008 8
    • August 1
    • July 2
    • June 2
    • May 1
    • March 2
  • 2007 11
    • December 1
    • October 1
    • September 1
    • August 4
    • June 4
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Home
  • Features
  • _Multi DropDown
  • __DropDown 1
  • __DropDown 2
  • __DropDown 3
  • _ShortCodes
  • _SiteMap
  • _Error Page
  • Mega Menu
  • Documentation
  • _Web Documentation
  • _Video Documentation
  • Download This Template

Footer Menu Widget

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact Us

Social Plugin

Ovin is a responsive and modern Blogspot theme, specially designed for blogs & magazines

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec facilisis leo et bibendum pretium. Suspendisse ligula neque, ultrices nec interdum faucibus

About Me

Vrushali Deshpande
Here for a higher purpose.
View my complete profile

Tags

Subscribe To Smiling Tears

Posts
Atom
Posts
All Comments
Atom
All Comments

About Us

About Us
Aliquam sapien nulla, venenatis id finibus at, eleifend a turpis. Aliquam ac nibh id lorem ornare accumsan maximus at mauris.

Labels

  • alone
  • friendship
  • home
  • loneliness
  • love
  • relationship

Tags

  • alone
  • friendship
  • home
  • loneliness
  • love
  • relationship

Popular Posts

Want to believe you are angry!

Want to believe you are angry!

August 20, 2013

Pages

Most Popular

Last Conversation

I write after a very long time. Do you know it is true that every human gets that feeling just before it happens. Before everything in life finally stops. The relief after being suffocated..... is another life. I wanted to be needed. Being loved is a luxury. I am not like them. I am not you. I was true. I know it's so difficult to love me. How do i know? because no one can be worse than i am with myself. I am not even as useful as a toilet paper is. I cannot equate myself with trash because it too was once relevant before becoming irrelevant. I chose to never marry because my father said if it was him even he wouldn't have married me. I don't want to give a background because that will portray him negatively. I say to him he's right. I always wanted to be a mother. But am too scared to give life to a soul. I knew someone for over a decade. I knew myself for over four. I never ask WHY when people leave me. Because every single human has co...

Popular Posts

Last Conversation

Last Conversation

October 21, 2026
Not Happy To Be Born

Not Happy To Be Born

August 04, 2025
Setting You Free

Setting You Free

November 07, 2024

Oddthemes

Random Products

Designed by OddThemes | Distributed by Gooyaabi Templates