Old was this belief when I was well assured that no word of humiliation and disgrace can ever wobble a heart full of love. These words banged the ear drums, bounced on the heart in an attempt to break it into two, but only in vain. Patience and tolerance grew to the extent where one wondered if the heart has become numb or if it is too strong beating in love. Someday these agonizing words question your self respect but the so called spirit of love makes you believe it could just be your ego and it definitely is an enemy of love.
Years pass and you slowly start reacting to these words in its worse possible way. Silence now appears to be a weapon of a coward and the person fool enough to repeat the so called mantra of love at the cost of self respect. But without making you aware of its slightest arrival your heart is filled with this poison. Words you never imagined you would ever use, language you thought you never knew, now started to show its presence. This filthy act of revenge in form of words slowly started to degrade you in your own eyes and even guilt started to cover itself in shame. The self you do not even feel like hating because hatred becomes too small a word.
Today you master in this act of humiliation and hurt those people who love you the most. You cry in deep pain repenting losing your innocent self and becoming the person you were a complete opposite of. Today you sit back and wonder if you will ever get that self back and any form of hopelessness makes you fear the coming tomorrow.
Written by Vrushali
Two most beautiful relationships in life are “friendship” and the “eternal bond with parents”. There are numerous examples where people leave their friends for a newly developed relationship.
It requires a strong disposition and immense mental clarity to value the two most cardinal relationships in life “Friendship” and “an innate eternal bond with our parents”. It is indeed unfortunate when individuals disregard their old friends for a newly developed fling of an affair or infatuation. It all the more exhibits indications of mental weakness when a child does not wish to value the limitless love of their parents just to satisfy his so called involvement in a person; which in most cases is temporary in nature.
Often these weak individuals need a stranger to make them realize the importance of these two most beautiful relationships, when in reality the realization should have come from within a long time ago. The ones who do not value their true friends and parents are the ones who are not worth relying on ever in any relationship.
Fortunate things happen in different forms. A stranger indirectly awakens the value of these relationships in that blinded individual and sometimes someone is lucky enough to have never bonded with such blinded individuals.
Written by Vrushali
Dedicated in the memory of my dear friend, Anuj
Notoriously winking at me you asked for a hug, You smiled with your dimples visible saying it’s your luck
We fought enough to hate each other, We then spoke and shared enough to be friends forever.
You could sense it when I was unwell, and you tried all your inspiring talks to take me out of that hell.
The beep of those smses woke me up late at night. Now who will disturb me? With whom will I fight?
I never told anyone how close you were to me, I asked my God to get my friend back; I was down on my knees.
I looked at you yesterday and I felt you smiled. I knew you would get up and say you were joking all this while.
I touched your feet and knew this is the last time I’m feeling you. I captured your face and said I will never forget you.
I turned and kept asking “Won’t you ever come back?” Won’t you ever surprise all of us saying “It’s just a prank?
Wrtitten by Vrushali Deshpande
Virtual chat! Hours of conversation with people we do not know at all and with people who do not know us at all; I call the former strangers and the latter, acquaintances who love to be called as friends. (Hey! You probably did not realize how vocal you can get about your emotions when you sit and chat to your friend on the seat beside you, but such a thought of unveiling your emotions do not come to you otherwise.) Okay! Getting to the point, some conversations are easy to have with people who do not have any preconditioned opinion about us. Some conversations are so difficult with people who we think know us enough to form a judgment on the situation we are in. Great! We are only looking for a place where we would not get a reality check about ourselves. Sometimes hours of “what’s up” and “what else” seem more productive to us than talking to someone who reside with us in our home. Sometimes hours of useless counseling virtually seem more of a noble cause than sitting with your mother who probably needs someone to talk to. Tragic, isn’t it? Human actions can be so inhumane and this comes with complete realization of what we are doing! These people will come and go! Strangers you meet and know in person will one day be gone with change of job, career, and wedlock, and probably the frequency of conversation would diminish. (No, I am not saying the friendship would fade, it probably would be the best of its kind). But what matters is acknowledging someone’s presence who works day and night for your well being; who for god’s sake made that internet facility available for you by paying thousands of rupees for an unlimited access. Sigh! Written by: Vrushali Deshpande
Time is money? I do not by any chance intend to get materialistic once again. But talking about time, it does really passes by, and you know what? It passes by making you fully aware second by second of its departure. Time tells us our story which is going to be in the near future and we are well assured of the numerous things we are going to repent on. Sigh! And still no resolutions to take corrective actions in order to not repent.
Countless nights sobbing on worthless and useless boyfriends you ever had in your life; it is like pushing yourself for a suicide over and over again. Precious hours one could have rather spent with their folks who truly have taken care of us, who genuinely love us, and you know what? In our absence who really miss us so much!
Nightmares (and especially these early morning ones) sometimes throw a light on our low wisdom when we see the death of one of our family member and that agonizing pain which chokes the throat in a half asleep state aggravates it all. We resolute in our early morning prayers that we shall not take our folks for granted. The light of wisdom vanishes as soon as our folks shoot their questions, and what is concern for them becomes interrogation for us.
Be it relationships or career, rarely a resolution lasts long and that whole idea of seeing the intention diminishing annoys the mind to the core.
To look at it, there is going to be one fine day when these people we today take granted for would be gone and we shall never be able to see them, hear them, and touch them. That feeling of repentance shall put us into lifelong trauma eventually, and we would wonder that what if we spent that time, that time which we completely wasted on some silly thing, we could have rather spent with them.
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I write after a very long time. Do you know it is true that every human gets that feeling just before it happens. Before everything in life finally stops. The relief after being suffocated..... is another life. I wanted to be needed. Being loved is a luxury. I am not like them. I am not you. I was true. I know it's so difficult to love me. How do i know? because no one can be worse than i am with myself. I am not even as useful as a toilet paper is. I cannot equate myself with trash because it too was once relevant before becoming irrelevant. I chose to never marry because my father said if it was him even he wouldn't have married me. I don't want to give a background because that will portray him negatively. I say to him he's right. I always wanted to be a mother. But am too scared to give life to a soul. I knew someone for over a decade. I knew myself for over four. I never ask WHY when people leave me. Because every single human has co...
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