Extremes give birth to Extremes

Relationship in my opinion is a state involving mutual dealings between people. Every relationship is formed for a need. A person's upbringing plays a pivotal in the evolution of this need and the processing takes place at a very subconscious level. The base for the formation of friendship is like mindedness - some quality in the person we can relate to. Once the comfort level establishes, the business of give and take is at its peak. A relationship between friends can be for support, dependency, security.

The concept of expecting something in return need not be looked at as an inferior step towards a relationship. Human beings are selfish in nature and at some point of time in their relationship they are bound to express their wants and desires. In a situation, one party may choose to do all the listening, while the other could be estranged to the whole idea of affiliation. In such a case, the listening party shows symptom of low self esteem. However, if the same person's self esteem is pretty high elsewhere, then such behaviour is due to high level of insecurity the person has towards the relationship. Sooner or later, he will release his frustration in some way or the other. This is most often done directly on the party causing pain. Or some may choose to release it on parents, friends and even better would be to pen down their thoughts.

What then could be the want of the listening party? The want is a justifiable reason for such rejection. A stubborn person with a high self esteem will explore all possibilities of digging the reason for such rejection. In the course of solving the mystery, the person may end up doing a lot of analysis about the relationship, the behaviour of other person involved, and there are high chances of either hating this person or falling deeply in love with this person causing pain. Any one of the two can be only confirmed over a period of time.

This is primarily why extremes give birth to extremes.

Solitude & Loneliness

Solitude is a self permitted state where you put yourself in, in order to be at peace.
The companionship is with someone you know the best, the exchange of thoughts & expression of conflicts is with someone you are the most comfortable with.
We wear more masks on our face than any other person we know in our capacity.
Thus, the most challenging task is in exploring the obvious & the unobvious aspects of our personality. By being in solitude you give yourself an opportunity to know yourself well enough to then state rational reasons for your actions and reactions.

While Solitude is something you choose, loneliness is imposed on you by others.
Loneliness is not only being alone in the crowd but it is also an extreme state of isolation when you are with yourself. It is an emotionally helpless condition of an individual who desires seclusion for reasons best convincing to him.
Whether in some cases it is simply masochism, the mental condition still remains the same. Loneliness is self-punishment marked by discontentment (deficiency state) & an awareness of aloneness.
While Solitude restores body and mind, Loneliness depletes them.
Written by: Vrushali Deshpande

It is about living the way...

Advices are futile when you do not implement them in your life. Advices are dangerous because you have no right with you to be responsible for someone else's life. Sensitivity level differs from person to person, so what can break me to tears may not necessarily impact you in a similar way. How then can you empathize with anyone even after going through a similar situation?

Some people are so sensitive that your one 'Word' can make or shake their life. You would be partly responsible for whatever then happens to them.

I'm against the concept of 'Help', but I'm not against the concept of 'guidance'. I'm against the concept of 'Advices', but I'm not against the concept of 'Suggestion'.

For me alleviating someone's pain would mean saying the following:

The time you cry be assured you have many friends with you crying over situations that are worse according to their perspective. Problems cannot be compared, life cannot be compared.

When we cry over problems, why do we behave as if God had promised us in advance a joyous life?

What love is which does not hurt us? What love is which does not make us realize the value of losing the person we love? It is only when we are hurt then do we know it actually was 'Love'. So what life is which does not give us pain to understand the value of happiness? How can you grow mentally without having suffered in life?

I do not believe when people say, "You can be happy as long as you believe you are happy." That would mean succumbing to every negative happening and still compelling yourself subconsciously to be mentally tough.

Belief is a trick. Our belief can be manipulated by impressive orators, best seller books, touchy movies or simply a word of a person we blindly trust.

I need a God damn reason to be happy and that is setting a goal and struggling to achieve it. My reason for happiness need not necessarily be your reason for happiness. Happiness a gifted favour in installments would be valued more than my blind belief to be happy because I want to believe I'm.

Essence of living a happy life is in never questioning if you are happy in life.
Answer to that question results in scrutinizing the reasons for unhappiness.

So why dive into the ocean of 'suffering' all over again?

Written by: Vrushali Deshpande

HOPE

Fiction!

I wake up in the morning to face the happenings, this sun which I welcome out of compulsion. My expressionless face and my aimless body language worries people around me. They console me pointlessly when they know not the reason.

The luck charm appears to have gone forever, the blessings does not seem to be with me anymore. I converse with God and I tell him how fair he has been towards me. By doing that I try finding out ways where I do not blame anyone but me.

The dreams make fun of me, they fulfill my unfulfilled wishes and how I know it is trying to show me the least possible. My heart pumps faster and this indeed happens at a subconscious level, but I feel hope for those moments and I’m so happy. This hope makes fun of me in many ways. It enters my life in the form of a dream and later slaps me by telling me that it was never around me.

The ray of sun disturbs my eyes. I quickly close my eyes to escape from the very thought of hope. This thought I once escaped from, this thought which I deeply hate now.
Failure comes my way and I still train my mind to think positive.

I do this all to respect God's gift of life. I do this all because there is no other better way of living life.

Written by: Vrushali Deshpande