Sunday, November 28, 2010

So screwed up !

Life has a wonderful way to screw us, and it mostly happens when we decide to not let feeling like love enter our life. It usually happens to us when we decide to be a robot and lead a life free of emotions.

Every time I decided to set myself free from this thing called love and lead a normal life where only career existed, I once in 4-5 years met someone who gave me hope to see happiness as it is and then he ended up screwing it like it had never been screwed before.

Every time I have loved someone with all my honesty, trust and loyalty; every time I have given everything possible I m capable of, I have been betrayed so miserably that the existence of love can be doubted. The worse thing is despite all of this I have never been able to dislike them, forget about hating them.

Sometimes it feels like I am just a tissue paper. Emotions mean a lot to me, love means a lot to me, but all people go gaga over is for looks; which is so futile… A person can have wonderful looks, but what matters is a clean conscience and a pure soul. I wish there was one person who could value this...

written by vrushali deshpande

Friday, November 26, 2010

Who would find out !

Every time I am hurt, my mind makes me aware of how short while it would be and in no time I will have no choice than to smile. Despite the pain being so unbearable, my mind forces me to be resilient and move on, while my heart on the other hand decides to take a pause.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Thursday, November 25, 2010

One thought, One line

“Stay positive and happy in life or God will make you go through one more painful experience to make you tough”, said my friend to me. Amazed at the thought, from then I felt nervous about every tear and complain. Fear from nervousness is again negative and now I do not know what to feel.

-Vrushali Deshpande

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Joke of Life

It’s true when someone said, ‘We can never forget our first love’, and equally difficult to get over it. I have come to realize, it is the age in which we suffer from the pain of separation that influences our decisions in life.

Separation during teenage with your classmate is more memorable and painful or separation with your ‘would be fiancĂ©’; separation with your fiancĂ© is more painful or separation with your husband; separation from the man you meet and fall in love after your first divorce is more painful or separation from the man you meet, marry and get betrayed after your first divorce.

Isn’t it funny that experiences make us grow stronger mentally escalating our willpower and level of resilience, but as we grow with age, the relationship we get into escalates equally in its level of gravity and importance and this reflects on how we then choose to be in life.

Isn’t it funny that experiences make us realize our trust was betrayed so it’s time we learn from it, but as we grow with age, despite being strong, our level of faith in ‘trust’ depletes with repetitive betrayals and we wear more shields – Making less people in future to know how we really are!

Love meant the most ultimate thing to me in my life and career always followed later, but every time love made fun of me, laughed on my face and went, my career became stronger. There are very few positive things in life you do to distract yourself from the pain, instead of adapting to measures like drinking, partying to escape the emptiness. No matter you better your career or drink, the tears of pain remain cold in your eyes.

Honesty remained always my weakness and with it loyalty followed on its own. It took me a long time to realize that when you innocently unveil every thought in your mind, you let the person know you well enough to betray you in its most miserable way.

Sometimes you know every person at the back of your hand and you are known for your ability to know the devil inside them, but how strangely you falter all the time in love in seeing the devil within them.

Sometimes you trust someone so much that you let them have space to have a life of their own besides ‘love’. When later betrayed, more than holding them responsible, you wonder if there is something wrong you did to not give them enough love.

When you love someone so much they are all you think of. When later betrayed, people around you have to remind you to ask one question ‘Why?’ How embarrassed I went when it struck me I broke in tears before you but forgot to ask you why you did this to me.

This must be one of my very write-ups when I have not cried while writing, but the pain is far more than the ones I sob about.

Trust everyone, but just don’t trust the devil inside them!

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

White Sheet of Paper

White sheet of paper lies on my desk and I stare at it with a vision of disappointment from life. I observe every bit in the paper to get lost in its white bright shade where I see nothing but purity. I can relate to this white clean sheet of paper which is lifeless to you but symbolizes purity to me. I look deep enough to visualize my God’s house where he often sits and speaks to me. As I am lost in this pure world, I see few droplets of tears on this paper which disturbs my vision and brings me back to reality where thrives only and only impurity.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande

Random thought

I have had a series of not-so-good days when mind could not function as per the civilized standards and the word ‘logic’ was thrown out of my dictionary. Some part of the day’s life screwed me and the latter part of it is screwed by me because of my incapability to handle the former. Journey from ‘inexperienced’ to ‘experienced’ was more than just the puddle of ‘to’ amidst the two bridges of experience.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande