Silence Within

Love is a word which is most used by human beings, meant by a very few and felt by hardly anyone, yet the usage continues. Trust, in the same scenario, is the most brutally raped word. I would defy if it is said that most people cheat because they enjoy doing so. Often the most honest, dedicated and a loyal person with a conscience difficult to shudder, end up becoming someone they never believed they could be. It is not the question then, if the person is good or bad now; it is the answer, that this person is no more the same, the way she had groomed herself to be since birth; very logically, this person no more exists, but is yet breathing, and so is still alive.

I often used words like silence, suffocation, pain and suffering in my write-ups, but when all of these reach a point where nothingness exist, you truly become silent towards people who caused this to you and whom you once gave all the love. Why love someone so much that in the whole process, you lose yourself? Who did you speak and share maximum with? – It is you, yourself. Isn’t it then obvious, you are your best friend, you are your true life partner; why then when we love, we care more for the other than ourselves? Caring is good, but not the cost of being humiliated and disrespected each day for the love you are giving; not at the cost of being taken for granted for every adjustment you are trying to make and definitely not for being trusted for every tolerance.

Tears at one point do not make you feel better; jokes do not make you laugh and hugs do not anymore comfort you. Deep down, you are struggling to take back your self-respect from the person, who did not just demean your respect, but kicked right on your face and told you “for all these years that you lived, you were a shame”
Such people will come and go in your life; probably you will even end up changing completely; probably you will for some time stop talking to yourself, but with determination and willpower, you will find your strength back and realize that no jerk who one day decided to walk into your life, could pass a judgment on the life that you lived so far.

All this stands true and holds meaning, if you know from within you are true to yourself more than being honest to others; if you were never the root cause behind all the mess up.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande