Letter to God

She does not speak to me anymore. She says I am always unfair to her. She may be right but my heart leaves me with no choice. I have to choose between my love and her. She tells me that she lives within me and that I should love my life more than loving him. The combination of these words is quite familiar to me, but I do not understand her language. I know he often makes her cry and she gets completely devastated and she begs before me to help her become strong. Trust my heart, I cannot see her that way and to an extent I cannot stand someone mistreating her so inhumanly.

The dark night comes to an end and her silence is most painful in the day. I go running to him and she looks at me like I am the rapist of her life. I want to be with her, and I want to be fair but the day I do that, I will be unable to love him hundred percent. May be that’s how I always did it – I always liked to give my hundred percent in everything.

My mind tells me if I go away from her, I will lose my self forever; it is better to lose someone else than losing yourself. I have always risked her shouts and tears with a hope that he will not hurt her again. These days I live without her being in me, but yes I am still with him, hoping the light of love to last forever.