They told me

They told me “Never tell your guy everything about yourself”; they told me “Never open up too much before him, let there be mystery”.

When I share my life with you, I do because you are a part of it. When I share my secrets with you, I do because you hold the right to know it all. I share a bond of wonderful friendship with you before anything else and I do not know a way to tweak in diplomacy. With you, I can be what I am.

Every time I hear you laughing, I cross my fingers secretly and pray this lasts forever in your life. Every time I hear you in pain, my heart fills with uncontrollable tears and all I wish is to hug you with all the warmth. Every time I hear your silence, I wish I never hurt you again.

Yes, I loved someone madly before I met you. Yes, I was mad enough to see hope in the relationship after every humiliation; even after I see some other girl love him right in front of my eyes. Yes, I was mad enough to cry helplessly and with every tear, I craved to hear him once. I gave six years of my life to him and it felt six seconds to him.

Love became a stranger to me and I could no more believe in it; it was my friend who took me out of it and helped me see the world from a new perspective. It is when I told myself not to believe that I have started liking him. If I remembered smiling again, it was only because of him. Yes, maybe he became more than just a friend.

I still remember the day when he left me forever. I still remember touching his cold feet and telling myself ‘This is the only time you can feel him’. I stored all his memories as I saw people taking him away.

Every time I see you looking at me with lot of love, I wish if I can love you back as much you do. Every time I feel the love, I ask suspiciously to myself if you are going to stay longer. Every time you hold my hand, I feel the warmth in your hand as much I can because I am too scared to have the thought of never feeling it again.

Today I give my heart and soul to someone once again; today I give my belief and trust to someone once again.

They told me “Never tell your guy everything about yourself”; they told me “Never open up too much before him, let there be mystery”.

But if I do not tell it all to you, whom do I have to tell it to…?

Written by Vrushali Deshpande