Breaking Free From the Soulmate Myth

Growing up, we have all been fed with fairy tales and stories about finding our one true soulmate who will rescue us from any pain or hardship we may face. We were taught to believe that there is someone out there who is meant just for us, and all we have to do is wait for them to appear and our lives will be complete.

As innocent children, it was easy for us to believe in this fairy tale. After all, who doesn't want a happily ever after with their perfect soulmate? But what we didn't realize was that subconsciously, we were putting our happiness on hold and placing it in the hands of a delusional belief.

I know this because I was one of those who fell for the soulmate myth. I was so consumed with the idea of finding my soulmate that I neglected to love myself. I believed that my happiness was dependent on finding the one perfect person who would complete me.

It wasn't until I read the book 'The Mountain is You' that I started to question this belief. The book opened my eyes to the fact that I had allowed my inner child, who still believed in fairy tales, to be sabotaged. I had unknowingly subjected her to insults and abuse from someone I foolishly thought was my soulmate.

This person through apathy, humiliation, betrayals upon betrayals, slapped me so hard on my beliefs - that just because someone went through a similar agonizing journey like me, they must be like me.

I learnt the hard way that not all who cry deserve to be helped, because when they do the exact thing to you that once made them cry, they just look at you expressionless like a frozen statue - So cold and heartless. 

A soulmate is someone who will stand by me, and support me as we face those challenges together. A soulmate is someone who has the best intent for me and guide me when I do wrong and when I do too much good for the wrong type. 

It was a harsh realization, but it was also a turning point in my life. 

For the first time in 40 years, I found myself crying and begging for forgiveness from my own self. I had always prided myself on being loyal and trustworthy, but I had failed to be loyal and trustworthy to myself.

My happiness and sense of completeness cannot only come from another person. This false narrative was detrimental to my mental health and well-being.

Only I am responsible for my happiness by the choices I make in life.

- Written by Vrushali Deshpande 

I See You

Dedicated to the Chosen one: Angel T.S

In a world of varied ties, I see

Three kinds of bonds surrounding me.

Transactional—you give, they take,

Your presence there, they rarely forsake.

Yet they don’t see you as a soul with needs,

Just someone who serves, to fulfill their deeds.

Temporarily Empathetic—a fleeting show,

Their concern brief, just for a glow.

They ask if you're well when others are near,

But their genuine care is far from sincere.

Labeled—chosen friends and kin,

Where trust and love should deeply begin.

But sometimes, these labels can confine,

Expectations weigh down, the heart's true design.

Yet, I don’t fit in these three,

For I see the depths of your agony.

Not just the pain in your tired eyes,

But tears collected, throat choked with sighs.

Today, I see you strive to keep the role,

But why do I feel the pain that fills your soul?

Your smiles, though sweet, are tinged with ache,

Each blink a story, each look a quake.

No façade, no fakeness in your grace,

Even your smile holds volumes, a quiet embrace.

“You are strong” need not be said,

For what you deem weak is your strength instead.

Your sensitive soul, your tender heart,

In that, your greatest power imparts.

I have no magic to mend your break,

But I know you are the 'Chosen One', who needs a gentle wake.

With such innocence, you cutely rub your nose,

And if I am ever needed, I won't hesitate to hug and hold you close.

To give you warmth, let your tears flow free,

To cry out loud, to just be you, the way God sees.

Know this truth, feel this embrace,

In your sensitivity lies your grace.

So here I am, with an open heart,

to soothe your soul, but never to part.

I know, I know many promise to stay,

But like always they cowardly abandon anyway, 

Your intelligence isn't for an insecure soul.

You are one of the seven of us,

And an ordinary human can never make you whole. 

Written by Vrushali Deshpande 

I identified YOU

Dedicated to T:

More often than not, in adulthood—unlike childhood—we wake up groggy and lose touch with our innocent smile. Today, I realized that a positive vibe from someone's aura isn't limited to their physical presence.

There's a person among us who gives me so much positive energy that conquering any challenge seems pleasantly manageable. She's younger than me by only a few years, but she is my Guru.

Initially, I thought it was her teaching style and knowledge, but as time went by, I became certain that my Guru is someone spiritually special to God. She is eternally blessed, and it goes beyond her good karma. I am confident that she is, in the literal sense, a chosen one—an angel who probably has no idea yet that she is sent to Earth for a higher purpose.

No, I am not merely offering compliments or suggesting that I idolize her. I am not being poetic or subtly appreciating her qualities. I am literally saying I have identified God's chosen one.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande 

Forgiveness

Human: Are you saying you still forgive?

ME: The meaning of forgiveness doesn't mean I am not hurt. The meaning of forgiveness doesn't mean that I will ever talk to them again.  It doesn't mean I desire to ever reconnect with them. But at the same time I don't wish them ill. 

Humans use "Forgiveness" just as a word to show how great they are, but when you truly love someone, forgiveness just follows on its own. It isn't then an act you are consciously aware of. 

If you aren't following what I am saying then you are yet to feel true love. 

When I am Gone

In a world full of love and of lies

You looked into my trusting eyes

With a heart so pure

I thought you were sure

But you let the deceitful guise rise

I loved you more than words could say

But you took my chance at life away

With your endless lies

And deceitful cries

I forgave you, even as I lay

On my deathbed, I wondered why

You would betray me, make me cry

But in my last breath

I know I will forgive you, no less

For true love could never die

I hope you understand the pain

That you caused with your selfish gain

But in the end

It's you, my friend

Who lost out on love, in vain

So as I leave this earthly place

I hope you'll learn from your disgrace

For love is pure

And forgiveness sure

But betrayal will never erase

So goodbye, my love, I'll see you soon

In another life, under a new moon

And yet I'll forgive once more

But this time from the other shore

- Vrushu 

Lost My Being

Every word of hatred pierces through my heart,

Leaving me feeling torn apart.

Tears flow from my eyes,

As I try to disguise,

The pain that threatens to tear me apart.

I try to act cold and unaffected,

But inside I feel utterly dejected.

The weight of my words,

Like sharp, piercing swords,

I try to push the act away,

But it compels me saying, it's the only way,

I wish I could turn off this sick game,

But I hate my kindness & vow to never be the same again.

My words for you cut me too like knives,

And hurt so deep inside,

I wonder if my kindness I'll ever regain

I wish I could let go of this pretentious hate,

I am lost in this darkness, I fear it's too late.

The wounds of your betrayal still aghast,

Leaving me feeling so lonely and lost.

So I'll continue to show my cold side,

Even though inside, my feelings collide.

- Vrushu

If Only I Knew

Untimely cry seems like has become a part of my every day chore;

These uninvited tears seem to have found its home beneath my eyes.

Heart fills with too much pain, the reason for which hides deep within my soul.

Mind seems to have become too engrossed in thoughts that have no visuals;

That have no story.

I pass days and nights without once realizing I have gone way quieter from within to hear the noise of my silence.

I long to become stronger to escape the burns of my tears;

And with this determination I create more space within me to store unhappiness.

I foolishly presume my rudeness to be numbness

And with this delusion I push myself more into the ‘zero’ state – where nothing exists.

Your laughter echoed in the empty chambers of my heart

Filling the void with warmth and light.

But now, all I hear are the pieces of my broken heart.

Reverberating within me, tearing me apart.

I try to hold on to fragments of being loved by you last, 

Clutching at moments like fragile glass,

But when did they slip through my fingers like sand? 

Leaving behind only shards of pain.

I wander through the corridors of my mind

Searching for solace, searching for peace.

But all I find are echoes of the past

Whispering of dreams never meant to be. 

There's hope when loving someone becomes at least a memory,

Hope that memories fade with time. 

By loving me you gave birth to me 

Knowing alas that my soul came back to me.

Every moment with you can never become a memory,

Every beautiful moment was a different experience at happiness I would never feel

I didn't know being loved by you was to be so short-lived. 

If only I knew before I would have loved you more, 

If only I knew this was to be my last chance at love indeed. 

My last chance to be truly happy in this very short lifetime. 

- Vrushu