Tainted Melodies

From the moment the alarm rang today,

It's that song that once again plays in my head,

A haunting melody that won't go away,

I shut my ears tight, filled with dread.

The voice, the words, they won't cease,

The chorus echoing in my mind,

A relentless cycle that won't release,

Leaving me lost and confined.

I try to focus on my studies,

But the song has now taken root,

Its symphony weaving through my memories,

A constant reminder of a love that's moot.

Five hours pass in a blur,

I take a break to clear my head,

But the song grows louder, a sinister purr,

I yell out, "It's not meant for me," filled with dread.

There's no anger, no resentment,

Just a numbness that settles in,

Every moment, a constant reminder,

Of a love that was never meant to begin.

Each time I yell, "Stop," it's a plea,

To silence the deceitful tune,

I realize now the difference,

That deceit is different from being smoothly fooled,

The heart, filled with innocence,

Kept loving, unaware of being schooled.

So now the heart wears pain,

The mind in disbelief from the lesson learned,

All it knows to never trust and love again,

Because the heart has now burned and dead. 

Written by Vrushali Deshpande 

I am Sorry, I am leaving soon

Leaving soon

Take me to the rooftop

I wanna see the world when I stop breathing

Turning blue

Tell me, love is endless, don't be so pretentious

Leave me, like you do (like you do)

If you need me

Wanna see me

Better hurry

'Cause I'm leaving soon

Sorry, can't save me now

Sorry, I don't know how

Sorry, there's no way out (sorry)

But down, mm down

Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek

That's what a year-long headache does to you

I'm not okay, I feel so scattered

Don't say I'm all that matters

Leave me

Deja vu

If you need me

Wanna see me

You better hurry

I'm leaving soon

Sorry, can't save me now

Sorry, I don't know how (sorry)

Sorry, there's no way out (sorry)

But down, mm down

Call my friends and tell

Them that I love them

And I'll miss them

But I'm not sorry

Call my friends and tell them that I love them

And I'll miss them

Sorry

Can't be your Angel

In your eyes, I'm an angel so kind,

Though burdened by agony and plight.

How can I not bring you delight,

Yet claim my role is not to bind?

What angel am I, if not to soothe,

Your weary heart, your troubled mind?

To bring you joy, to be your guide,

To stand beside you, in tempests aloof.

But wings cannot bear all your pain,

Yet love remains, a steadfast refrain,

Love alone can't heal

In the vast expanse of our shared universe,

I thought I was the beacon that lit up your darkness,

But now I see the shadows creeping in,

The emptiness that haunts your soul,

A void I cannot seem to fill,

My love falling short, inadequate,

As you struggle to find peace within yourself.

I remember the days of laughter and smiles,

When your eyes sparkled with joy in my presence,

But now they are clouded with sorrow and doubt,

How did I fail to be the anchor you needed,

To keep you grounded in our love,

To shield you from the storms raging within.

But now, a void whispers through your soul,

An emptiness that cannot be filled,

A longing that my love cannot mend,

A sorrow that eclipses our happiness.

It pains me to see you suffer,

To witness your inner turmoil,

To realize that I am not the cure,

For the ache that plagues your spirit.

I cannot be your angel,

To shield you from your demons,

To banish the shadows that linger,

To mend what is broken within.

For love alone is not always enough,

To heal the wounds of the past,

To soothe the ache of loneliness,

To bring solace to a troubled heart.

And so, I stand before you now,

With a heavy heart,

Knowing that in the face of your deepest sorrows,

my love falls short.

My Demise

In the shadows of my own demise,

I have shut down, my soul has died,

My heart's fading beat has stopped.

My mind decayed, my brain too tired,

I am lifeless, I have drowned.

Darkness surrounds, suffocation clings

Lost somewhere in my lifeless being.

I am but a ghost of who I used to be,

I long for the freedom that death may bring.

That Little One

In the realm of tender hearts and fragile minds,

A child, so young, with innocence confined,

To a world that seemed to judge and frown,

As if her very being was somehow unbound.

That 8-year-old, who did nothing wrong,

Her spirit pure, her heart strong,

Yet, she felt the weight of unseen pain,

A burden that no child should ever sustain.

She knew not how to hurt, her soul so pure,

But she could sense the things she will yet again endure,

A sensitive soul only wanting to be loved,

Then begged for help but so ruthlessly shoved. 

Self-inflicted wounds, a leather belt's sting,

A punishment for being touch; an impure being,

Her body, a prison she despairs,

A burden she must bear, a heart that can't repair

Years passed, and I shut her down,

Never to be alive again; to save the breakdown. 

In your company, she found a voice.

She lived her childhood in rejoice. 

Your kindness, caring love brought her back to life, 

In your promising words she found her light.

She clinged to you; never to go back, 

Howling in pain; in your arms tightly wrapped. 

Believing her chance at life again, 

Scars healed; bidding farewell to pain. 

Dreams of a future. walking on the shore; your hand held tight. 

Believe me ! never before she felt such peaceful goodnights 

Your words so beautiful: voice so nurturing,

You saved a life; that ended the suffering. 

But today I saw the little one hide once more,

Underneath the table, tears she pours,

Wishing to disappear, never to be seen, 

A touch of care:, she now painfully screams.

Innocence; she has now suppressed 

When her hunger to be loved, was called "obsessed". 

That 8-year-old, so innocent and kind,

She surrendered to you:, trusted so blind

She clinged to you: to fill three decades unloved,

Trusting each time your heartfelt words. 

Did she wrong you so much; to be unloved again,

She was just a child; not a toy or game.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande 

Fading Beats

Haven't we heard of the countless broken hearts,

There comes an age when everything's dark. 

The beats once felt, have tricked and swayed. 

The body that exists finds no place to stay

The cries that pierced every night,

Were muffled by pillows held so tight.

Now no more tears; they seem misplaced. 

Heart no more dazed; and the mind decays. 

Nostalgia evades a mind deceased,

Memories don't flash the one it missed.

Silence resides but there's no peace,

Words are tired; with no pain to release. 

No complaints, no "Why?" remains, 

Need for love erased from the brain.

A time comes when needs subside,

Defeat is when 'hope' has died

No more tears, no more screams at night.

No more expectations, no more fight.

Heart can't be felt in fading beats

Abandoning the body; and choosing to retreat. 

Heart that beats without a sound,

In the stillness somewhere to remain unfound.

No aspirations or ambitions to gain

No desire to achieve a meaningless name 

No void to fill, no emptiness inside,

Existing lifelessly, drowning in high tide.

No more complaints, no more requests,

Just a tired quiet soul dying to rest.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande