Love comes with pain

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When you love someone more than you love yourself, you want to give them everything you have. When they hurt you, you can't hate them. You just can't hate because the love is so much. 

We were destined to meet and give love to each other for at least sometime. In the process, we ended up hurting each other. But love isn't that fades away with pain and betrayal. Love is tested in its most difficult times, when things aren't as pleasant as you would hope.

Sometimes when the agony is too much, you have to take a step back and remember that you were friends before you fell in love with each other. Love is friendship. Love is respect and Love is trust. 

If we don't have friendship, respect and trust between us, there cannot be love left. 

Love does give us pleasure but it also comes with pain. There is no strong relationship that never suffered through its journey. 

Today, my tears are choking in my throat and I am suffering to cry my heart out. But I am unable to cry, I choose to punish myself by burying the pain inside me. 

My heart loves you too much that it doesn't want to ask you the reason you got so detached from me one day and held me responsible for no fault of mine.

I read our chats so many times today and I know I didn't have the courage to delete the chats because that's my only memory of you.  Today the same chats pierce through my heart, causing a lot of heartache. But how can I stop reading them? What else do I have of you?

When I open the chat to read, tears roll down my eyes and I go on scrolling up to read your messages full of love and care. My broken heart tells me to stop reading because there's so much love in your messages and my heartache increases with each message.

But I went on reading until I threw my phone away from uncontrollable tears. 

You gave me the hope of togetherness. You made me dream our future together. I am not hurt because I love you. I am hurt because I know you truly loved me. Your love was not a lie and that is not something I will get anymore. 

My heart wants you to achieve a lot of success in life. My soul wants all your dreams to come true. 

What will hurt me more is if you are sad. Never hate yourself for any reason. Make good out of your life, achieve your ambitions and be happy. 

Just remember in one corner of the world someone can never stop loving you. 

Being Happy

The decision to forgive yourself or somebody else is a vote to live in the present moment. When we won't forgive ourselves, we are actually choosing to stay on a guilt trip so we can put ourselves through some extra mental anguish. 

When we withhold forgiveness, we suffer.

Most people remember compliments for a few minutes and insults for years. They become garbage collectors, carrying around trash that was thrown at them twenty years ago.

We all live our lives the best way we know how. We make a lot of mistakes along the way. Sometimes we act on misinformation, sometimes we do stupid things, but we are still doing it the best way we know. 

Nobody opens his eyes the moment he is born and thinks, "Great! Here is my big chance to go out and screw up my life!"

Being happy requires looking for good things. One person sees the beautiful view, and the other sees the dirty window. You choose what you see and you choose what you think.

The Self You Don't Recognize

It's been a while I met myself,

It feels like yesterday when I asked for help.

I am not sure who within me I will meet next;

I wished if I didn't have to live on an edge.

Some say, they understand me.

I wonder which part they do that I don't see.

It's not about saying harsh things I don't mean.

It's about facing a person within me who has never been.

Life's a Game of Chess

 You will meet those people who will try to get to you,

Just for how long will you take it, given they are quite a few.

Someday your silent tolerance will break into an outburst of intense rage.

Their narcissism craves for your reaction, I guess you have already gauged.

They play dirty because they know it affects you,

And they triumph with your emotional reactions. See just how easily they play you!

You must know their intent is to drown you to defeat,

Very smoothly they will win the trust of others and leave you to take the heat.

You may choose to look at relationships as 'Black' and 'White',

Better! See yourself on the Chessboard of life with a hawk sight.

You can't win any war alone,

But it's always best to let them think you have no one.

Life's a game of Chess which you can only learn at your pace.

Choose to get defeated by the opponent and blame it on fate!

Or learn the Moves to protect yourself from checkmate.

Today that I am

Each breath that I take today feels like the overweight body trying to lift itself up. Yet my attempts do not fail to try each moment that I suffer noticeably. Today, it is not the same as I used to be; the strong, willful, joyous, talkative person who once lived life with a laugh that was so easily understood as happiness. Today, the smile is that to strangers disguised as friends, the laugh is suffering deep within wanting to explode in tears. Today, who that I am is the one I never met before. 

Perception

Truth and honesty is homeless creatures in a world where the human species find their existence so alien.

What a human wants can never really be answered because the similarity of the brain the structure is relatively (not wholly) irrelevant psychologically to the mind's way of processing information.

The difference between knowing someone and perceiving them to be someone is that the former follows the latter.

Perception? Funny because an error of judgment, an act of prejudice, a set of preconceived notions can drastically impact your perception towards someone; and the level of emotional intensity, you have in your mind towards them influences and renews your concept of perception. 

Subconsciously at least, your perception and its meaning changes with each experience, no matter how big or small.

Your Silence

 Your silence often makes me feel as if you are just a figment of my imagination. That I question if you exist for real because I write to you.

Your silence sometimes makes me feel that my being must be some sort of a delusion. That I question if I even exist for you to respond to. 

Kind words were just not spoken; kindness was always exhibited - some times lovingly and other times out of helplessness. 

Do not confuse me to be talkative because I use many words and the most selfless gesture has always been unsaid. 

I do not have it in me to speak the most important of the things I do for you and I have it in me to endure this suffering in silence. Because everything I did and say was from the deepest 'whole' that lives in me and not just a 'part' of me. 

 Do not confuse my helplessness as my outrage and my love as mere empty words because you do not have the slightest clue when I tear myself into pieces to give you things you'll never see, feel and touch today because it is for your tomorrow. 

 That tomorrow when my being will simply be a delusion but your existence will never be a figment of my imagination.