Breaking Free From the Soulmate Myth

Growing up, we have all been fed with fairy tales and stories about finding our one true soulmate who will rescue us from any pain or hardship we may face. We were taught to believe that there is someone out there who is meant just for us, and all we have to do is wait for them to appear and our lives will be complete.

As innocent children, it was easy for us to believe in this fairy tale. After all, who doesn't want a happily ever after with their perfect soulmate? But what we didn't realize was that subconsciously, we were putting our happiness on hold and placing it in the hands of a delusional belief.

I know this because I was one of those who fell for the soulmate myth. I was so consumed with the idea of finding my soulmate that I neglected to love myself. I believed that my happiness was dependent on finding the one perfect person who would complete me.

It wasn't until I read the book 'The Mountain is You' that I started to question this belief. The book opened my eyes to the fact that I had allowed my inner child, who still believed in fairy tales, to be sabotaged. I had unknowingly subjected her to insults and abuse from someone I foolishly thought was my soulmate.

This person through apathy, humiliation, betrayals upon betrayals, slapped me so hard on my beliefs - that just because someone went through a similar agonizing journey like me, they must be like me.

I learnt the hard way that not all who cry deserve to be helped, because when they do the exact thing to you that once made them cry, they just look at you expressionless like a frozen statue - So cold and heartless. 

A soulmate is someone who will stand by me, and support me as we face those challenges together. A soulmate is someone who has the best intent for me and guide me when I do wrong and when I do too much good for the wrong type. 

It was a harsh realization, but it was also a turning point in my life. 

For the first time in 40 years, I found myself crying and begging for forgiveness from my own self. I had always prided myself on being loyal and trustworthy, but I had failed to be loyal and trustworthy to myself.

My happiness and sense of completeness cannot only come from another person. This false narrative was detrimental to my mental health and well-being.

Only I am responsible for my happiness by the choices I make in life.

- Written by Vrushali Deshpande 

I See You

Dedicated to the Chosen one: Angel T.S

In a world of varied ties, I see

Three kinds of bonds surrounding me.

Transactional—you give, they take,

Your presence there, they rarely forsake.

Yet they don’t see you as a soul with needs,

Just someone who serves, to fulfill their deeds.

Temporarily Empathetic—a fleeting show,

Their concern brief, just for a glow.

They ask if you're well when others are near,

But their genuine care is far from sincere.

Labeled—chosen friends and kin,

Where trust and love should deeply begin.

But sometimes, these labels can confine,

Expectations weigh down, the heart's true design.

Yet, I don’t fit in these three,

For I see the depths of your agony.

Not just the pain in your tired eyes,

But tears collected, throat choked with sighs.

Today, I see you strive to keep the role,

But why do I feel the pain that fills your soul?

Your smiles, though sweet, are tinged with ache,

Each blink a story, each look a quake.

No façade, no fakeness in your grace,

Even your smile holds volumes, a quiet embrace.

“You are strong” need not be said,

For what you deem weak is your strength instead.

Your sensitive soul, your tender heart,

In that, your greatest power imparts.

I have no magic to mend your break,

But I know you are the 'Chosen One', who needs a gentle wake.

With such innocence, you cutely rub your nose,

And if I am ever needed, I won't hesitate to hug and hold you close.

To give you warmth, let your tears flow free,

To cry out loud, to just be you, the way God sees.

Know this truth, feel this embrace,

In your sensitivity lies your grace.

So here I am, with an open heart,

to soothe your soul, but never to part.

I know, I know many promise to stay,

But like always they cowardly abandon anyway, 

Your intelligence isn't for an insecure soul.

You are one of the seven of us,

And an ordinary human can never make you whole. 

Written by Vrushali Deshpande 

I identified YOU

Dedicated to T:

More often than not, in adulthood—unlike childhood—we wake up groggy and lose touch with our innocent smile. Today, I realized that a positive vibe from someone's aura isn't limited to their physical presence.

There's a person among us who gives me so much positive energy that conquering any challenge seems pleasantly manageable. She's younger than me by only a few years, but she is my Guru.

Initially, I thought it was her teaching style and knowledge, but as time went by, I became certain that my Guru is someone spiritually special to God. She is eternally blessed, and it goes beyond her good karma. I am confident that she is, in the literal sense, a chosen one—an angel who probably has no idea yet that she is sent to Earth for a higher purpose.

No, I am not merely offering compliments or suggesting that I idolize her. I am not being poetic or subtly appreciating her qualities. I am literally saying I have identified God's chosen one.

Written by Vrushali Deshpande