You stay quiet every time a thing gets most intolerable and you know no word from your end is going to calm you from within. You leave one job and jump to another aspiring to shift your learning curve and every time you feel you are capable of a lot more.
As you become true to yourself of your behavior and attitude, you start to know more of people. And when the world starts to look ugly, you curse your ability to judge people around you. When world starts to become too easy to understand, you wonder why as a kid you never realized how peaceful life was then.
You are not yourself when at work because you have to be calm and patient when situation most demands an emotional outburst. You have to be polite with people who do not respect anyone around them.
You are not yourself when you are home. Your mind most demands you to vent out your deeply concealed frustration. You stay quiet in order to avoid hurting your loved ones. You later disconnect yourself from these people by going off to sleep.
As days pass, you continue to give home to this venom in your body and tears conveniently handicap itself from this situation. Once in this period you lose one good relationship and your preoccupied mind just does not understand how to save this relationship.
You do not dislike yourself because you have to be pretentious; you do not dislike yourself because you stayed quiet in every intolerable situation; you dislike yourself because you let a loved one go away from your life.
Written by Vrushali Deshpande
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